Life is Yummy Good

V(e)ntage of an aspiring woman and wife. The mother in me speaks on Eesa's blog. The activist, feminist and student in me speaks at Unshackled. This is the blog where I put all the different facets of my life together; to realize and appreciate God, Marriage, Relationships, Love and Life.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Open minded..

"I think it's good to have an open mind, but it's not good to have a mind so open that your brain falls out."

-Christopher Kilmartin

Monday, March 05, 2007

3 days left..

It's been an interesting week at Sheza's world for the last couple of days. What with putting together research information, preparing for exams and 'rents arrival - it's been a constant "on the go" atmosphere here.

Alhamdolillah in the past week Ive managed to accomplish alot that had been on my agenda for a while. Not sure if it's nayma's presence or procrastination from examination studies, eitherway, it's a huge load off my shoulder (and to-do list) for sure. Imo and I've also done some changes around the apartment that I'm absolutely thrilled about, but I'll contain my excitement as an attempt of enticement towards getting you guys to come and visit us:P

On the college front, this has been an extremely excruciating semester so far. Apart from 100's of networking groups that I've joined, I've also enlisted myself with the social change committee at college and have been constantly attempting to do research to promote the inclusion of muslim women's needs in social policy changes. (I've also been working on this for muslims in general at a personal level for the last month and half). I'll be submitting my first proposal tommorow inshaAllah, please pray all goes well inshaAllah. If it goes well, I will have to submit a grant proposal which would allow me to recieve grants from various organisations to fund for environmental scans that would analyze and report the needs and concerns of muslim women living in North America inshaAllah. I am absolutely thrilled about it alhamdolillah. It's crazy but I'm absolutely passionate about it and can't wait for it to materialize inshaAllah.

Tommorow is also the official start of my midterms for the next two weeks. CRAZY craziness. Not that I really needed another chip on my shoulder to worry about!

I've also been updating Eesa's blog rather religiously (five times a month ;) ) lately. So the sense of accomplishment is soaring high. lol. We went over to imran's parents' place today and decided to paint her bathroom. I was telling imran how nothing makes me happier than painting. The self satisfaction is amazing. I love it.

Oh. Amidst all the chaos around me, we managed to pull together a last-moment date today. Throw in a little retail therapy, some jamoca almond fudge from baskin robins and some more window shopping - and you have yourselves a very happy sheza =). It's amazing how a day at the mall can be so uplifting for me. I suppose it's like people who need to watch the news to know what's going around the world. I NEED to go to the mall to see what's going on with the 'unadvertised' sales. lol. And i feel even happier if I come home with a great deal. Here's my fave: BombayKids: Free standing wooden initial 'I' for imran's desk at work: A BUCK! I literally rubbed my eyes when I saw the price. I'd been eyeing it since it was $25!

And the best news for last. 3 days till baba and mama arrive inshaAllah. It feels surreal. For the past few weeks, I was really missing family alot and I can't believe its happening. SubhanAllah.

Anyway, I should really return to my paper on 'women and migration' now. Aaah, I'm having a serious writer's block (yes, sheza we just spent the last 5 minutes reading you excruciatingly boring, all over the place blog entry, trust us, we KNOW!).

Just as a forethought, why can't professors just give us essays? what's with this new obsession with "papers"?

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Coming back home..

Regardless of what part of the world you live in, or what "home" physically was, parent's have a magical way of bringing you back home by just being there.

Nothing can describe the anticipation in my life right now- the anticipation of "coming back" home, next week!

Friday, February 09, 2007


Warning: it's going to be one of those random vent/nostalgic therapy sessions for my sake.

It just struck to me that I've been married(God! i hate the word!!) for four yrs!! MashaAllah.

Double whopper for the fact that I'm a mommy! subhanAllah.

rewind perhaps 3 yrs ago, you'd be my worst enemey for excusing my paunch across the belly as pregnancy.
Rewind perhaps 4.5 years and i'd slap you for even thinking abt getting me hitched!

As cliche as it sounds... life's a pandora box of surprises.

I'm married and I'm a mom. I repeat. I'm married and I'm a mom mashaAllah. whoa!!

Sometimes while walking around college I wonder if people can actually tell that I have a baby or if i look like one of the many?

It's 2:33 am. my lil tazmanian monkey decided to wake up and had a spur of the moment desire to watch 'ice age'. what!? i went to bed only half an hour ago!! why did no one tell me this is part of the package of being a mama? lol j/k. but seriously speaking, sometimes i wish i knew what to do. i wanna observe more parents with kids so i can tell what works and what doesnt. goals for 2007!

i love the excitement this lil one brings my way. alhamdolillah. it's unbelievable how fast hes grown mashaAllah. it seems like yest when i showed maryam my pee stick and stood in the washroom crying not knowing what to do, sneaking out to the docs with maryam, endless gynae trips slash shopping sessions. and then yea morning sickness', endless sleepiness bouts. deciding to quit my job. trying to find a female gynae. talking to the tummy. endless pokes and kicks. wanting, infact, craving to bend forward. the nesting phase with endless re-arrangements of furniture. reading endless websites trying to figure out what to do. staring at the ultrasound pix endlessly. maryam thinking she can see something so it's a boy. hehe. oh the blubber around me! all 50 lbs of it! crying on maryam's mehndi day coz i looked like a duck regardless of what i wore! in denial to the point of not wanting to wear maternity clothes. getting SICK of pregnancy clothes. watching the belly pop out from under t-shirts etc. innie to outtie. the baby shower... where everyone was out of town. oh the drama it entailed. the penguin - pregnant woman - walk. getting sick of yellow and green baby clothes. getting disgusted by yellow and green baby clothes. finally packing a suitcase for the hosp. unpacking and packing it daily. waiting patiently for the 40 week mark. watching the 10th of oct go by. one day. two days. four days. five! The last few nights of pregnancy. my vow to walk until he popped out - ((hey it worked! it had me contracting the next morning!! )). not knowing the difference between a backache and a contraction. *doh*. Imran's excitement upon finally being close to being able to hug the baby. philly cheese steak from somethin' to talk about. going to the hosp. not yet. walking up and down eglinton ave waiting for the moment to happen. finally being admitted. epidural - God bless the guy who invented it!. sleep. getting a fever from the epidural, imran catching it! the doc sneaking in warm blankets for both of us. finally having him. wanting to see him alive. hearing him cough. falling in love with an intensity that i couldnt fathom. wanting 10 of him! not believing he's mine! watching time pick up speed. it's been not one, but two yrs alhamdolillah. he not only turned over, sat, crawled and walked. he's mashaAllah running and jumping with both feet up in the air too! he's making snowballs and airing them out too. i can't shop in the infant's section anymore. he's a toddler - mashaAllah!

where has time flown to?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!

Ever go through one of those days where you just can't go to sleep coz your mind is overactive? I go through that while eating, sleeping and yes... showering! Anyhow, found this awesome quote worth sharing! enjoy!


Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference.

--Nolan Bushnell - Founder of Atari

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!

Ever go through one of those days where you just can't go to sleep coz your mind is overactive? I go through that while eating, sleeping and yes... showering! Anyhow, found this awesome quote worth sharing! enjoy!


Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference.

--Nolan Bushnell - Founder of Atari

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

It's a boy!

Congrats Aasiya and Mehmood on your baby boy. May he always be the noor of your eyes and a continous source of Allah's mercies for both of you. ameen.

Monday, January 22, 2007

It takes time...

What better way to return to blogging/blogwording than a post accreditted to my recent journey - indeed a journey of a lifetime. Before you scroll your mouse over, to close the window coz you think this is just one of those moment by moment details about hajj, I urge you to take a moment to read this post and think of ways our lives are enriched by others and how we can enrich others' lives.

As most of you know, I went for hajj recently. The last time I ventured out to Mecca was when I was 7. My memory fails me each time I try to recall it, there's very little that I remember from that visit.

For the longest time, my tummy would give me butterflies each time I saw pilgrims circulating the ka'aba on tv. Be it during the videos of taraweeh during ramadan or just random frames in people's homes, my heart would thud out a silent prayer wanting to trod on the land that my favorite man walked upon - peace be upon him.

Hajj has been on the plate for Imo n I for quite some time. Each year, we'd plan to go but somehow or the other circumstances just didnt allow us to. Either we werent settled in or finance was tight or i was pregnant or eesa was too young etc etc etc! When the opportunity arose this time around, I was super reluctant coz of Eeesa. I didn't want to leave him behind. I dont have the words to describe the turmoil my soul was in. It was crazy... i was going insane. I really really wanted to go, but I wanted to be with Eesa and Imo. The possibility of going later on was on the table but that would mean that I would possibly never get the chance to do it with my parents. Or if I left it till later, I may possible never ever get to go. It was the possibility of simply NEVER ever being able to do it that had me going. I could put it off until tommorow, but who knew if I'd live till tonight? And having said so, if I could die tonight, there would be means to ensure Eesa's welfare tommorow. So if those means exist tommrow, why don't they exist today? My hajj started the day I realized that the means exist today but I live enchained to the world.

I left for pakistan three days later, hoping to apply for a visa two days later from India. I stayed in Pak for two weeks before getting my visa. The two weeks were crazy stressful, with the doubts surrounding everything... would i or wouldnt i be able to go? SubhanAllah i was convinced i'd get the reward nonetheless, so i wasnt too worried. just was missing eesa n Imo like crazy.

Stepping into Mecca was enthralling. It's simply mesmerizing watching millions of muslims, enshrouded in white, teary eyed encircling the kaba in submission to their Creator, seeking His forgiveness.. I think nothing moved me more than the simplicity of Hajj. I remember atleast one occassion everyday where I'd point out to myself how glorious the women looked without makeup or brand named junk. There was no issue of status. Everyone was the same, present for the same purpose - His pleasure.

I think that was the biggest irony of this entire trip - the fact that each and every person that was present, was present without any physical invitation. Each of them chose to give up their daily comforts, spend out of their wealth and dressed in shrouds that they would be buried in, JUST for the sake of their Creator. Materialistically speaking they were getting nothing out of this journey - infact they were at a "loss"! Yet, year after year, people choose to set forth on this journey for the sake of Allah swt.

Staying the days at mina, i was constantly aware of how blessed and privileged a life we live. There were moments where the chill from the cool desert air would make it impossible for us to sleep and so we'd have to cuddle together, taking turns sleeping on each others arms and legs to keep them warm. When I lay my head to rest at night and the ground felt hard in mina, I was scared. I was scared for the ungratefulness that spurts out of privilege around me. For the first time in my life, I realized and was truly grateful for everything I had.

I remember countless occassions in my life where I thanked Allah. But they were big things - a great husband, great family blah blah. I realized the significance of the seemingly insignificant things. Somewhere during Mina, my awareness intensified. My entire hajj was suddenly a focus on how skewed up my perspectives in my daily life is. I was constantly reminded of it. It was as though Allah would throw lil things my way to remind me of one more thing I had that I didn't value. It was in Mina that I came to realize how absolutely petty my issues and worries are. How absolutely selfish my ikhlaaq with others is. How calculated my spendings in charity are. How outrageously materialistic my needs are.

Mecca is where I found my life. Mina is where my life changed.

Mecca is where I found the purpose of my life. Mina is where the application of this purpose was.

I walked into mecca praying for ease in my life. I walked out of Mina with the conviction that ease is all I have, the complication is merely my perspectives. I walked out of Mina with the worry that maybe, it's all too easy! As cliche as it sounds, I realized the pains of people's sufferings in Mina.

Most people scare you that hajj is tough. As long as your mind is prepared for it, hajj is easy. I had vowed to perform hajj without complaint and with complete endurance. And praise be to Allah, He made it so easy. I rarely had a chance to complain or endure. Infact I feel that when I recall stories, I sound like someone who went through hardship, when infact I really didnt. Every single thing, every act was within our stride.. Infact, after the five days were over, Nayma and I were shocked that it was over... it seemed too easy to be hajj. If, before hajj, someone asked me to do those same things I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I constantly made sure I was aware of myself during hajj. I wanted to ensure that if were I to feel any hardship from human beings, I would go back and take measures to remove those traits from myself. In the end, when hajj was over, I vowed to inculcate within me one thing. Ihsaas - the feeling, the awareness. The feeling for others' pain, compassion for others' needs. I wanted to take back with me conscience. I wanted to stop living unaccountable for my actions. I want to have the ihsaas, the pain of someone else when I hurt them. I made dua'a that Allah swt reminds me when my actions mean that I may be stepping on someone elses foot to get that lil privilege and to keep my heart forever aware of my body's actions.

Above everything, I vowed to change my ikhlaaq with this ihsaas. I want my existence to be a means of ease for someone elses burdens. Be it at work, at home, with clients, colleagues, with friends, family, inlaws or strangers. I want to know that my hands and tongues dont cause harm to others. instead I want these to be the tools for my jannah. I always envied Imran's ikhlaaq, how he's always so respectful towards his family and elders, how he goes out of his way to show others respect and value, how when others are ashamed to be seen hanging out with their parents he loves hanging out with his dad (to the craziness that their desks at work are right next to each others' as well!), how his aunts totally dote over him and literally beg for him to spend an extra 5 minutes with them, how his family and circle of friends can count on him to be there or feel comfortable enough to have him be the first person to call (even before they'd call their brother or parents - sorry j, had to mention this!) coz they know he'd go out of his way to help them out. I would always tell him to learn how to say 'no' and do what you want to do instead. I feel crazy just thinking abt it. It's not like we already don't have enough reasons to strive for hasanah, but when the opportunity strikes we still seek to turn it away. I dont mean that we shouldnt have a mind of our own, just that as long as it doesnt take away someone else's rights or your obligations towards others can be fulfilled or accomadated, I want us both to go out of our way and help others. Sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it costs time. But my time and my wealth are both a loan from Allah swt anyway. InshaAllah from now on, I want us to accomodate our needs so both of us can work to attain jannah. ameen

At the end of it all, I want to remember Allah's words in surah rahman where He asks mankind if there is a reward for good deeds, except for good deeds? (hal jazaul ihsaan ilal ihsaan). Allah swt doesnt promise the return of this Goodness from the same person. We tend to do good deeds hoping for a return of favor from the same person. As my good friend S says, we keep looking for that fairness in life. But no one has promised fairness in this life. He's only promised justice, but that too in the Hereafter. And i NEED that reward from Allah swt, if not through the same person then through someone else. If not in this life, then in the next. I just want Allah swt to keep my perspective straight - ALL the time!

Ive gone all over in this post. I've had so much going on in my head and was hesitant about blogging in fear of being unable to express myself or being incoherent. Well, I've gone ahead and done just that! Im sorry if i came off all preach-y, but this blog is something i refer back to in time and I really wanted to be reminded of my lessons from hajj over and over again. InshaAllah.

Oh and one mor ething.... I got a haircut =)


the previous blog was menat to be for eesa's crib. but now that i have posted it here, ill just link it there!@


Alhamdolillah Eesa's been doing much better lately alhamdolillah. Apart from washing 5 bedsheets a day from last tuesday to friday, it's all been under control! On the first night, we went through 7 bedsheets & blankets. Bless Imran's mom for having the stomach to wash them. The funny thing is, it's easy to wash your own child's but i doubt i'd be able to wash someone else's stinky sheets. When I have grandson's ill be sure to let u know!

A couple of u mentioned to have eesa checked up with a doc. Our peadiatrician is an excellent guy mashaAllah. He's also a friend so I am constantly on the phone with him. The best thing about him is that he always gives guidelines to follow. He mentioned that babies have 5 litres of water in them, pooping and throwing up causes dehydration. So we look out for signs of dehydration. If he is crying and there are tears, its a good sign. If his tongue is wet, it's a good sign. We look out for wrinkles on the top of his feet and make sure his tummy inflates when he breathes. if any of the above is missing, he told us to take him to the hosp right away.

He also told us water, crackers and 7up/gingerale are ideal substitutes for IV. They have just the right nutrition. crackers for carbs and sodium. water and crackers dont have enough calories, hence the 7 up. We had to minimize the quantity. about 3 tablespoons of liquid every 15 minutes.

Eesa fell sick the same way in pak last yr. the last time he refused to eat or drink. Alhamdolillah this time round he WANTED to eat and drink. Hence when he was throwing up, he was taking out what he was eating, but alhamdolillah not all of it. Alhamdolillah he's much much beter now, just very zoned out and tired.

on another note, phoppos have left for pakistan. we spent the weekend with them and Beeloo was over. Having spent an entire month with daadi all to himself, i noticed moments when he was jealous of having beeloo around. He's throw random tantrums and would do things that he knew would cause us to punish him (or send him to the penalty box as imran calls it). InshaAllah his jealousy is only out of love and if directed positively can be a good thing inshaAllahu khair.

its super silent here without phoppos. it's almost as if our ears have started to buzz. anyhow, im off for school! more to come later!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Ikea Job Interview...

Monday, January 01, 2007

Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
Karen Clark

Monday, December 04, 2006

Aasi's shower!

We (maryam & I) finally unveiled the surprise baby shower for Aasiya yesterday. We'd been planning the shower for a while and were trying desperately hard to keep it a surprise from Aasii dear. I must say we got a few kicks out of watching Aasi be all gullible to our craziness.

While I was planning the shower for maryam, i kept bugging aasi to put her lists together so I could throw her a shower as well. It took a bit of convincing and pushing, but alhamdolillah she finally agreed. On Eid, Maryam mentioned she wanted to throw it together. Alhamdolillah it turned out to be a miracle in disguise with all the final essays, projects and assignments, that ihave due next week.. Poor Maryam often had to do the running around on her own to pick up everything while i tried putting the final touches to my asgmts.

All of last week had been soo busy with Imo being tied up at work. He worked extra hours throughout the week and then topped the pie when he went to work to Markham on Thursday morning, then got called to kitchener in the evening and and then got called to whitby on friday morning. He basically didnt come home for 30 hours straight. Friday evening I had to give a lecture/talk at Uni of To, he picked me up from downstairs, dropped me there and then finally went home. He showered, watched the b-ball game, and then came to pick me up. We went out on a nice dinner date where we got a chance to enjoy a good meal with some exciting talks. Alhamdolillah. it really felt nice to spend some QT with him since Eesa went to his grandma's the night before. On sat i had different things going on with Young Muslims but finally had to backout of a couple of them to go home and take a much needed power nap. I've been battling some serious insomnia (lol) the last few years :(

Finally got up at 5 in the evening, blended up some hummus dip and baked some lemon cupcakes with my secret ingredient. I had already made the frosting for the cupcakes on friday(but never got around to using it). We were getting late so I left the pasta for sat morning. We went to moms, had dinner and then headed out to aasi's MIL's place where we dropped the food and thanks to her MIL, the decorations were already taken care of. we then headed off to aasi's place to sort of throw her off. we bummed out at her place till past midnight while the boys went out . there were moments where we almost blurted out about sunday, but Alhamdolillah we survived.

On sat morning, we headed off to aasi's MIL's, quickly made the pasta and got the margarita glasses ready for aasi's fave lemon-lime margarita in salt rimmed glasses. got ready just in time alhamdolillah. slowly people started trickling in - PST (pakistani standard time)! unfortunately the snow really didnt help. lol the funniest was zainab and maryam who saw someone coming out of the house and hid in the bushes thinking it was! the sweetest was aasi's mom and grandma (Mama Pat and mom Lawra) driving in all the way from Keswick.

we played some games (my fave being the molten chocolate in the diapers... it REALLY looked like poop!!) and bummed around in general. alhamdolillah it turned out great. i dont think we took any pictures of the favors but they were really cute blue and white ikea candleholders with scented tealight candles wrapped in tulle and ribbons with plastic safety pins in blue and pink(blue and pink was also our theme for the shower). Alhamdolillah Eesa was a gem throughout. MashaAllah he looked adorable(pix to follow, once maryam sends them). He got really cranky in the middle when he couldnt sleep because fo all the distractions all over. he's still at daadi's coz i had college today:(

we came back home around 9 last night and played basketball after a long time. i've been meaning to tone out my body for a while and alhamdolillah the energy rush felt excellent. After I had eesa, Alhamdolillah i lost most of the my pregnancy weight right away but im still in need of some toning. i used to work out often after eesa was born but have constantly been neglecting it lately. i can't say it enough, but that workout left me really refreshed.

today was school all day and im soooo pooped, it's unbelievable! so off i go! tadaa!
pictures to follow!:P