Life is Yummy Good

Open minded..

2007-06-27T20:40:00.000-04:00

"I think it's good to have an open mind, but it's not good to have a mind so open that your brain falls out."

-Christopher Kilmartin

3 days left..

2007-03-05T01:50:00.000-05:00

It's been an interesting week at Sheza's world for the last couple of days. What with putting together research information, preparing for exams and 'rents arrival - it's been a constant "on the go" atmosphere here.

Alhamdolillah in the past week Ive managed to accomplish alot that had been on my agenda for a while. Not sure if it's nayma's presence or procrastination from examination studies, eitherway, it's a huge load off my shoulder (and to-do list) for sure. Imo and I've also done some changes around the apartment that I'm absolutely thrilled about, but I'll contain my excitement as an attempt of enticement towards getting you guys to come and visit us:P

On the college front, this has been an extremely excruciating semester so far. Apart from 100's of networking groups that I've joined, I've also enlisted myself with the social change committee at college and have been constantly attempting to do research to promote the inclusion of muslim women's needs in social policy changes. (I've also been working on this for muslims in general at a personal level for the last month and half). I'll be submitting my first proposal tommorow inshaAllah, please pray all goes well inshaAllah. If it goes well, I will have to submit a grant proposal which would allow me to recieve grants from various organisations to fund for environmental scans that would analyze and report the needs and concerns of muslim women living in North America inshaAllah. I am absolutely thrilled about it alhamdolillah. It's crazy but I'm absolutely passionate about it and can't wait for it to materialize inshaAllah.

Tommorow is also the official start of my midterms for the next two weeks. CRAZY craziness. Not that I really needed another chip on my shoulder to worry about!

I've also been updating Eesa's blog rather religiously (five times a month ;) ) lately. So the sense of accomplishment is soaring high. lol. We went over to imran's parents' place today and decided to paint her bathroom. I was telling imran how nothing makes me happier than painting. The self satisfaction is amazing. I love it.

Oh. Amidst all the chaos around me, we managed to pull together a last-moment date today. Throw in a little retail therapy, some jamoca almond fudge from baskin robins and some more window shopping - and you have yourselves a very happy sheza =). It's amazing how a day at the mall can be so uplifting for me. I suppose it's like people who need to watch the news to know what's going around the world. I NEED to go to the mall to see what's going on with the 'unadvertised' sales. lol. And i feel even happier if I come home with a great deal. Here's my fave: BombayKids: Free standing wooden initial 'I' for imran's desk at work: A BUCK! I literally rubbed my eyes when I saw the price. I'd been eyeing it since it was $25!

And the best news for last. 3 days till baba and mama arrive inshaAllah. It feels surreal. For the past few weeks, I was really missing family alot and I can't believe its happening. SubhanAllah.

Anyway, I should really return to my paper on 'women and migration' now. Aaah, I'm having a serious writer's block (yes, sheza we just spent the last 5 minutes reading you excruciatingly boring, all over the place blog entry, trust us, we KNOW!).

Just as a forethought, why can't professors just give us essays? what's with this new obsession with "papers"?

Coming back home..

2007-03-01T02:13:00.000-05:00

Regardless of what part of the world you live in, or what "home" physically was, parent's have a magical way of bringing you back home by just being there.

Nothing can describe the anticipation in my life right now- the anticipation of "coming back" home, next week!

Life..

2007-02-09T02:26:00.000-05:00

Warning: it's going to be one of those random vent/nostalgic therapy sessions for my sake.
-=-=-

It just struck to me that I've been married(God! i hate the word!!) for four yrs!! MashaAllah.

Double whopper for the fact that I'm a mommy! subhanAllah.

rewind perhaps 3 yrs ago, you'd be my worst enemey for excusing my paunch across the belly as pregnancy.
Rewind perhaps 4.5 years and i'd slap you for even thinking abt getting me hitched!

As cliche as it sounds... life's a pandora box of surprises.

I'm married and I'm a mom. I repeat. I'm married and I'm a mom mashaAllah. whoa!!

Sometimes while walking around college I wonder if people can actually tell that I have a baby or if i look like one of the many?

It's 2:33 am. my lil tazmanian monkey decided to wake up and had a spur of the moment desire to watch 'ice age'. what!? i went to bed only half an hour ago!! why did no one tell me this is part of the package of being a mama? lol j/k. but seriously speaking, sometimes i wish i knew what to do. i wanna observe more parents with kids so i can tell what works and what doesnt. goals for 2007!

i love the excitement this lil one brings my way. alhamdolillah. it's unbelievable how fast hes grown mashaAllah. it seems like yest when i showed maryam my pee stick and stood in the washroom crying not knowing what to do, sneaking out to the docs with maryam, endless gynae trips slash shopping sessions. and then yea morning sickness', endless sleepiness bouts. deciding to quit my job. trying to find a female gynae. talking to the tummy. endless pokes and kicks. wanting, infact, craving to bend forward. the nesting phase with endless re-arrangements of furniture. reading endless websites trying to figure out what to do. staring at the ultrasound pix endlessly. maryam thinking she can see something so it's a boy. hehe. oh the blubber around me! all 50 lbs of it! crying on maryam's mehndi day coz i looked like a duck regardless of what i wore! in denial to the point of not wanting to wear maternity clothes. getting SICK of pregnancy clothes. watching the belly pop out from under t-shirts etc. innie to outtie. the baby shower... where everyone was out of town. oh the drama it entailed. the penguin - pregnant woman - walk. getting sick of yellow and green baby clothes. getting disgusted by yellow and green baby clothes. finally packing a suitcase for the hosp. unpacking and packing it daily. waiting patiently for the 40 week mark. watching the 10th of oct go by. one day. two days. four days. five! The last few nights of pregnancy. my vow to walk until he popped out - ((hey it worked! it had me contracting the next morning!! )). not knowing the difference between a backache and a contraction. *doh*. Imran's excitement upon finally being close to being able to hug the baby. philly cheese steak from somethin' to talk about. going to the hosp. not yet. walking up and down eglinton ave waiting for the moment to happen. finally being admitted. epidural - God bless the guy who invented it!. sleep. getting a fever from the epidural, imran catching it! the doc sneaking in warm blankets for both of us. finally having him. wanting to see him alive. hearing him cough. falling in love with an intensity that i couldnt fathom. wanting 10 of him! not believing he's mine! watching time pick up speed. it's been not one, but two yrs alhamdolillah. he not only turned over, sat, crawled and walked. he's mashaAllah running and jumping with both feet up in the air too! he's making snowballs and airing them out too. i can't shop in the infant's section anymore. he's a toddler - mashaAllah!

where has time flown to?

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!

2007-02-01T21:39:00.001-05:00

Ever go through one of those days where you just can't go to sleep coz your mind is overactive? I go through that while eating, sleeping and yes... showering! Anyhow, found this awesome quote worth sharing! enjoy!

-=-=-=-=-=-

Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference.

--Nolan Bushnell - Founder of Atari

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!

2007-02-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

It's a boy!

2007-01-23T21:37:00.000-05:00

Congrats Aasiya and Mehmood on your baby boy. May he always be the noor of your eyes and a continous source of Allah's mercies for both of you. ameen.

It takes time...

2007-01-22T14:48:00.000-05:00

What better way to return to blogging/blogwording than a post accreditted to my recent journey - indeed a journey of a lifetime. Before you scroll your mouse over, to close the window coz you think this is just one of those moment by moment details about hajj, I urge you to take a moment to read this post and think of ways our lives are enriched by others and how we can enrich others' lives.

As most of you know, I went for hajj recently. The last time I ventured out to Mecca was when I was 7. My memory fails me each time I try to recall it, there's very little that I remember from that visit.

For the longest time, my tummy would give me butterflies each time I saw pilgrims circulating the ka'aba on tv. Be it during the videos of taraweeh during ramadan or just random frames in people's homes, my heart would thud out a silent prayer wanting to trod on the land that my favorite man walked upon - peace be upon him.

Hajj has been on the plate for Imo n I for quite some time. Each year, we'd plan to go but somehow or the other circumstances just didnt allow us to. Either we werent settled in or finance was tight or i was pregnant or eesa was too young etc etc etc! When the opportunity arose this time around, I was super reluctant coz of Eeesa. I didn't want to leave him behind. I dont have the words to describe the turmoil my soul was in. It was crazy... i was going insane. I really really wanted to go, but I wanted to be with Eesa and Imo. The possibility of going later on was on the table but that would mean that I would possibly never get the chance to do it with my parents. Or if I left it till later, I may possible never ever get to go. It was the possibility of simply NEVER ever being able to do it that had me going. I could put it off until tommorow, but who knew if I'd live till tonight? And having said so, if I could die tonight, there would be means to ensure Eesa's welfare tommorow. So if those means exist tommrow, why don't they exist today? My hajj started the day I realized that the means exist today but I live enchained to the world.

I left for pakistan three days later, hoping to apply for a visa two days later from India. I stayed in Pak for two weeks before getting my visa. The two weeks were crazy stressful, with the doubts surrounding everything... would i or wouldnt i be able to go? SubhanAllah i was convinced i'd get the reward nonetheless, so i wasnt too worried. just was missing eesa n Imo like crazy.

Stepping into Mecca was enthralling. It's simply mesmerizing watching millions of muslims, enshrouded in white, teary eyed encircling the kaba in submission to their Creator, seeking His forgiveness.. I think nothing moved me more than the simplicity of Hajj. I remember atleast one occassion everyday where I'd point out to myself how glorious the women looked without makeup or brand named junk. There was no issue of status. Everyone was the same, present for the same purpose - His pleasure.

I think that was the biggest irony of this entire trip - the fact that each and every person that was present, was present without any physical invitation. Each of them chose to give up their daily comforts, spend out of their wealth and dressed in shrouds that they would be buried in, JUST for the sake of their Creator. Materialistically speaking they were getting nothing out of this journey - infact they were at a "loss"! Yet, year after year, people choose to set forth on this journey for the sake of Allah swt.

Staying the days at mina, i was constantly aware of how blessed and privileged a life we live. There were moments where the chill from the cool desert air would make it impossible for us to sleep and so we'd have to cuddle together, taking turns sleeping on each others arms and legs to keep them warm. When I lay my head to rest at night and the ground felt hard in mina, I was scared. I was scared for the ungratefulness that spurts out of privilege around me. For the first time in my life, I realized and was truly grateful for everything I had.

I remember countless occassions in my life where I thanked Allah. But they were big things - a great husband, great family blah blah. I realized the significance of the seemingly insignificant things. Somewhere during Mina, my awareness intensified. My entire hajj was suddenly a focus on how skewed up my perspectives in my daily life is. I was constantly reminded of it. It was as though Allah would throw lil things my way to remind me of one more thing I had that I didn't value. It was in Mina that I came to realize how absolutely petty my issues and worries are. How absolutely selfish my ikhlaaq with others is. How calculated my spendings in charity are. How outrageously materialistic my needs are.

Mecca is where I found my life. Mina is where my life changed.

Mecca is where I found the purpose of my life. Mina is where the application of this purpose was.

I walked into mecca praying for ease in my life. I walked out of Mina with the conviction that ease is all I have, the complication is merely my perspectives. I walked out of Mina with the worry that maybe, it's all too easy! As cliche as it sounds, I realized the pains of people's sufferings in Mina.

Most people scare you that hajj is tough. As long as your mind is prepared for it, hajj is easy. I had vowed to perform hajj without complaint and with complete endurance. And praise be to Allah, He made it so easy. I rarely had a chance to complain or endure. Infact I feel that when I recall stories, I sound like someone who went through hardship, when infact I really didnt. Every single thing, every act was within our stride.. Infact, after the five days were over, Nayma and I were shocked that it was over... it seemed too easy to be hajj. If, before hajj, someone asked me to do those same things I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I constantly made sure I was aware of myself during hajj. I wanted to ensure that if were I to feel any hardship from human beings, I would go back and take measures to remove those traits from myself. In the end, when hajj was over, I vowed to inculcate within me one thing. Ihsaas - the feeling, the awareness. The feeling for others' pain, compassion for others' needs. I wanted to take back with me conscience. I wanted to stop living unaccountable for my actions. I want to have the ihsaas, the pain of someone else when I hurt them. I made dua'a that Allah swt reminds me when my actions mean that I may be stepping on someone elses foot to get that lil privilege and to keep my heart forever aware of my body's actions.

Above everything, I vowed to change my ikhlaaq with this ihsaas. I want my existence to be a means of ease for someone elses burdens. Be it at work, at home, with clients, colleagues, with friends, family, inlaws or strangers. I want to know that my hands and tongues dont cause harm to others. instead I want these to be the tools for my jannah. I always envied Imran's ikhlaaq, how he's always so respectful towards his family and elders, how he goes out of his way to show others respect and value, how when others are ashamed to be seen hanging out with their parents he loves hanging out with his dad (to the craziness that their desks at work are right next to each others' as well!), how his aunts totally dote over him and literally beg for him to spend an extra 5 minutes with them, how his family and circle of friends can count on him to be there or feel comfortable enough to have him be the first person to call (even before they'd call their brother or parents - sorry j, had to mention this!) coz they know he'd go out of his way to help them out. I would always tell him to learn how to say 'no' and do what you want to do instead. I feel crazy just thinking abt it. It's not like we already don't have enough reasons to strive for hasanah, but when the opportunity strikes we still seek to turn it away. I dont mean that we shouldnt have a mind of our own, just that as long as it doesnt take away someone else's rights or your obligations towards others can be fulfilled or accomadated, I want us both to go out of our way and help others. Sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it costs time. But my time and my wealth are both a loan from Allah swt anyway. InshaAllah from now on, I want us to accomodate our needs so both of us can work to attain jannah. ameen

At the end of it all, I want to remember Allah's words in surah rahman where He asks mankind if there is a reward for good deeds, except for good deeds? (hal jazaul ihsaan ilal ihsaan). Allah swt doesnt promise the return of this Goodness from the same person. We tend to do good deeds hoping for a return of favor from the same person. As my good friend S says, we keep looking for that fairness in life. But no one has promised fairness in this life. He's only promised justice, but that too in the Hereafter. And i NEED that reward from Allah swt, if not through the same person then through someone else. If not in this life, then in the next. I just want Allah swt to keep my perspective straight - ALL the time!

Ive gone all over in this post. I've had so much going on in my head and was hesitant about blogging in fear of being unable to express myself or being incoherent. Well, I've gone ahead and done just that! Im sorry if i came off all preach-y, but this blog is something i refer back to in time and I really wanted to be reminded of my lessons from hajj over and over again. InshaAllah.

Oh and one mor ething.... I got a haircut =)

oops!

2007-01-22T10:29:00.000-05:00

the previous blog was menat to be for eesa's crib. but now that i have posted it here, ill just link it there!@

Update

2007-01-22T10:15:00.000-05:00

Alhamdolillah Eesa's been doing much better lately alhamdolillah. Apart from washing 5 bedsheets a day from last tuesday to friday, it's all been under control! On the first night, we went through 7 bedsheets & blankets. Bless Imran's mom for having the stomach to wash them. The funny thing is, it's easy to wash your own child's but i doubt i'd be able to wash someone else's stinky sheets. When I have grandson's ill be sure to let u know!

A couple of u mentioned to have eesa checked up with a doc. Our peadiatrician is an excellent guy mashaAllah. He's also a friend so I am constantly on the phone with him. The best thing about him is that he always gives guidelines to follow. He mentioned that babies have 5 litres of water in them, pooping and throwing up causes dehydration. So we look out for signs of dehydration. If he is crying and there are tears, its a good sign. If his tongue is wet, it's a good sign. We look out for wrinkles on the top of his feet and make sure his tummy inflates when he breathes. if any of the above is missing, he told us to take him to the hosp right away.

He also told us water, crackers and 7up/gingerale are ideal substitutes for IV. They have just the right nutrition. crackers for carbs and sodium. water and crackers dont have enough calories, hence the 7 up. We had to minimize the quantity. about 3 tablespoons of liquid every 15 minutes.

Eesa fell sick the same way in pak last yr. the last time he refused to eat or drink. Alhamdolillah this time round he WANTED to eat and drink. Hence when he was throwing up, he was taking out what he was eating, but alhamdolillah not all of it. Alhamdolillah he's much much beter now, just very zoned out and tired.

on another note, phoppos have left for pakistan. we spent the weekend with them and Beeloo was over. Having spent an entire month with daadi all to himself, i noticed moments when he was jealous of having beeloo around. He's throw random tantrums and would do things that he knew would cause us to punish him (or send him to the penalty box as imran calls it). InshaAllah his jealousy is only out of love and if directed positively can be a good thing inshaAllahu khair.

its super silent here without phoppos. it's almost as if our ears have started to buzz. anyhow, im off for school! more to come later!

Ikea Job Interview...

2007-01-21T17:52:00.000-05:00

2007-01-01T04:04:00.000-05:00

Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
Karen Clark

Aasi's shower!

2006-12-04T22:33:00.000-05:00

We (maryam & I) finally unveiled the surprise baby shower for Aasiya yesterday. We'd been planning the shower for a while and were trying desperately hard to keep it a surprise from Aasii dear. I must say we got a few kicks out of watching Aasi be all gullible to our craziness.

While I was planning the shower for maryam, i kept bugging aasi to put her lists together so I could throw her a shower as well. It took a bit of convincing and pushing, but alhamdolillah she finally agreed. On Eid, Maryam mentioned she wanted to throw it together. Alhamdolillah it turned out to be a miracle in disguise with all the final essays, projects and assignments, that ihave due next week.. Poor Maryam often had to do the running around on her own to pick up everything while i tried putting the final touches to my asgmts.

All of last week had been soo busy with Imo being tied up at work. He worked extra hours throughout the week and then topped the pie when he went to work to Markham on Thursday morning, then got called to kitchener in the evening and and then got called to whitby on friday morning. He basically didnt come home for 30 hours straight. Friday evening I had to give a lecture/talk at Uni of To, he picked me up from downstairs, dropped me there and then finally went home. He showered, watched the b-ball game, and then came to pick me up. We went out on a nice dinner date where we got a chance to enjoy a good meal with some exciting talks. Alhamdolillah. it really felt nice to spend some QT with him since Eesa went to his grandma's the night before. On sat i had different things going on with Young Muslims but finally had to backout of a couple of them to go home and take a much needed power nap. I've been battling some serious insomnia (lol) the last few years :(

Finally got up at 5 in the evening, blended up some hummus dip and baked some lemon cupcakes with my secret ingredient. I had already made the frosting for the cupcakes on friday(but never got around to using it). We were getting late so I left the pasta for sat morning. We went to moms, had dinner and then headed out to aasi's MIL's place where we dropped the food and thanks to her MIL, the decorations were already taken care of. we then headed off to aasi's place to sort of throw her off. we bummed out at her place till past midnight while the boys went out . there were moments where we almost blurted out about sunday, but Alhamdolillah we survived.

On sat morning, we headed off to aasi's MIL's, quickly made the pasta and got the margarita glasses ready for aasi's fave lemon-lime margarita in salt rimmed glasses. got ready just in time alhamdolillah. slowly people started trickling in - PST (pakistani standard time)! unfortunately the snow really didnt help. lol the funniest was zainab and maryam who saw someone coming out of the house and hid in the bushes thinking it was aasiya...lol! the sweetest was aasi's mom and grandma (Mama Pat and mom Lawra) driving in all the way from Keswick.

we played some games (my fave being the molten chocolate in the diapers... it REALLY looked like poop!!) and bummed around in general. alhamdolillah it turned out great. i dont think we took any pictures of the favors but they were really cute blue and white ikea candleholders with scented tealight candles wrapped in tulle and ribbons with plastic safety pins in blue and pink(blue and pink was also our theme for the shower). Alhamdolillah Eesa was a gem throughout. MashaAllah he looked adorable(pix to follow, once maryam sends them). He got really cranky in the middle when he couldnt sleep because fo all the distractions all over. he's still at daadi's coz i had college today:(

we came back home around 9 last night and played basketball after a long time. i've been meaning to tone out my body for a while and alhamdolillah the energy rush felt excellent. After I had eesa, Alhamdolillah i lost most of the my pregnancy weight right away but im still in need of some toning. i used to work out often after eesa was born but have constantly been neglecting it lately. i can't say it enough, but that workout left me really refreshed.

today was school all day and im soooo pooped, it's unbelievable! so off i go! tadaa!
pictures to follow!:P
Wsalaams

Could this really be a miracle?

2006-12-02T14:38:00.000-05:00

(Picture courtesy: BBC UK)

Off-guard..

2006-11-30T23:37:00.000-05:00

It could have been any another way. It could easily have been so very different. Never had God promised to turn my glittery, shimmery dreams into sparkles of reality.

So why is it that when my heart is ablaze with the passionate reality of so many dreams, it still dares to beat in doubt? Even when life is magically throwing me into a spin of beautiful dejavu-s. And even when my heart is humbled in gratitude for the immense blessings, why is it beating in fear that perhaps fate's matchstick ignited the wrong coal? Why? Why? Why?

Last Breath..

2006-11-30T01:03:00.000-05:00

This video churns my insides like a peppermill everytime i see it. The sound quality isn't the greatest and neither is the melody but the words are sooo meaningful. I know of so many people who cried when they saw it.

(May Allah swt return SG to his family soon. Ameen)

Out of the ordinary..

2006-11-29T01:30:00.000-05:00

Everything has been out of the ordinary lately but when it comes down to blogging, somehow words seem too ordinary.

Realization # 2387673

2006-11-26T23:11:00.000-05:00

Superiority complex is, in fact, a form of an inferiority complex.

So go on, look down on me all you want... ! Or look up, if you please =)

The mother of all miracles...

2006-11-26T23:04:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that I lived without them for 22 years out of which I've been a mother for 2!!! It's my new found lifesaver that I carry with me EVERYWHERE!!

I think I'm not well...

2006-11-23T23:37:00.000-05:00

I'vve cooked three brown meals this week and they all turned out fabulous - if i must say so myself:P!

ofcourse I went high on the air spray too!

Update..

2006-11-23T20:02:00.000-05:00

warning! It's one of those updates where I list out my accomplishments over the last two weeks and feel good. so alot of whiney-ism!

The last two weeks have been crazy busy. Just trying to keep my head afloat and stay on top of everything. No I haven't been blogging here but I do sporadically update Eesascrib and Unshackled.

Two week ago, I went to Winnipeg. I learnt ALOT. I came back feeling extremely rejuvenated and passionate about everything I am learning. The course challenged some of the lesbo-western ideas that I had started to accept as normal. One of the greatest difference in practice between islamic counselling and western counselling that I faced in was in marriage counselling. Much of the western counselling works to gain immediate results and the idea of immediacy and 'my way or the highway'. Islamic counselling works towards acceptance and gradual change.

I had midterms the day that I got back. Alhamdolillah I managed to get much of my revision done on my flight there and back. The rest of the week was spent getting our place back in order. I had been neglecting much of the cleaning and usual stuff in favor of spending time with nayma. I was literally doing the bare minimum - and out of that too, Nayma would help out alot - esp with Eesa.

So the last two weeks have been alhamdolillah pretty productive. I feel a new rejuvenation towards my business as well. Came up with newer designs for the jewellry and managed to bag a couple new wholesalers as well - alhamdolillah. So that was a huge relief. I also managed to come up with a system to store my personal jewellry. I got a million and one earrings from india but I'd never get a chance to wear them because of the hassle of looking and finding them. i drilled in two nails in our closet and fished a jewellry wire across and then reinforced with metal wire around the nail. I did this twice, so i got two lines of metal wire going across. they're approx 50 cm wide. and then i hung out all my earrings onto them. Alhamdolillah they look fabulous - if I must say so myself;) the colours and the glotter, just really make me want to wear them. For the last three days I've been wearing matching earring and pendants with my outfits. That's a true accomplishment compared to my previous silver chain with a neutral coloured swarovski crystal dangling.

All day yesterday I spent ironing out my hijabs. Then at night i was cleaning out my kitchen when maryam called and said shes bringing Belaal over coz she wanted him to stay up. Alhamdolillah she completely took over and revamped my kitchen in one third the time it would have taken me on my own. Eesa was busy with baba, chacha and Beeloo so it save dme 90% of the distraction.

Slowly but surely, I'm also completing the paintings nayma was doing. she completed two and then for the third one she drew it out but didn't get the chance to paint it. So i'm at it. I'm sooooooo artistically challenged, it's unbelievable. lol. let's wait and see.

anyhow.. I've got an office to clean. so off i go!
laterz!

Ashwariya and loreal??

2006-11-20T02:41:00.000-05:00

I think I just saw Ashwariya in a Loreal Mascara ad!

Am I smoking too much????

(nvm! my hollywood encyclopedia just confirmed, it's HER! *gasps*)

Weirdo!

2006-11-19T02:37:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I can't help but notice the orange and greens crying out to me.

(I had alot of time on my hands on Friday night since Eesa was staying over at Daadi's place. So I cooked up 5lbs of qeema with taco seasoning and veggies to be used in weekdays lunches, quesadilla, burritos, pasta, lasagne etc. The colours looked soooo vibrant, couldnt help but try and capture them! If youc an't view the picture, try re-routing through www.vtunnel.com )

When compatibility speaks..

2006-11-16T03:38:00.000-05:00

"Compatibility can not be gauged prior to marriage".

I disagree.

Vehemently!

Answered prayers...

2006-11-11T00:41:00.000-05:00

Seems like my prayers have been answered! Walmart is coming up with a grocery store with a greater variety! woohoo!

Wal-Mart opening first Canadian fresh-grocery super centres; 14 more in 2007Posted 11/7/2006
By Rita Trichur
TORONTO (CP) - Discount giant Wal-Mart Canada (WMT) - preparing to carve out a bigger slice of the grocery trade with the opening of its first Canadian super centres - has announced an "aggressive" growth plan that could include up to 14 more stores in 2007.

Each new Canadian super centre represents an investment of $15 million to $20 million and up to 500 new jobs, president and chief executive officer Mario Pilozzi said Tuesday.

He declined to specify the locations of future super centres, combining full-line grocery supermarkets with Wal-Mart's signature general-merchandise and packaged-food barns, because the retailer is still awaiting municipal approvals.

The Canadian division of the world's largest retailer has previously indicated it was targeting the Ontario communities of Sarnia, Brampton and Vaughan and the Toronto suburb of Scarborough.

The first three locations open Wednesday in Ancaster, London and Stouffville.

Ranging from 160,000 to 200,000 square feet, Wal-Mart super centres will stock about 120,000 products, compared with 80,000 in a traditional store, Pilozzi said, adding that their fresh produce, meat and baked goods will include a variety of organic and ethnic foods.

"We've been listening to the customers. They've been asking for this larger assortment," he said.

"We've been selling groceries since 1997 and what we have today is simply an evolution."
With about one million Canadians shopping at Wal-Mart on any given day, analysts say the super centres have the potential to revolutionize one-stop shopping in Canada.
U.S. supermarkets have been devastated by their impact, and Canadian grocers like Loblaw (L.TO) and Sobeys (SBY.TO) are busy retooling their supply chains and beefing up their offerings of general merchandise to prepare for the onslaught.

"Groceries are a golden opportunity for Wal-Mart to put money back in our customers' pockets," said Pilozzi.

In addition to expanding into fresh food, the super centres are billed as offering "a greater selection of modern and trendy items - primarily in fashion, electronics and home - normally associated with specialty big-box retailers."

Wendy Evans, president of Evans and Company Consultants Inc., said the super centres will offer lower food prices initially but predicted those would rise in the long term. "It depends on the level of competition in the market," she said.

The atmosphere of the Canadian super centres will likely be a "cut above" those in the U.S.
"The grocery sector here is somewhat more advanced, generally, than in the United States," Evans said. "So customers expect somewhat better presentation and quality merchandise."
Bentonville, Ark.-based Wal-Mart Stores Inc. moved into Canada in 1994, and Wal-Mart Canada, headquartered in Mississauga, Ont., now operates 272 discount stores and six Sam's Clubs, along with the three super centres.

News from © The Canadian Press

Flying and more..

2006-11-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

Hello from Winnipeg, Manitoba!

Got here this morning, LOVE being on airplanes. It gives me this inner sense of freedom and lightness. It's just amazing, just the thought of flying through the sky- looking out of the window and seeing cotton balls of clouds. So pure and rejuvenating.

Speaking of freedom, this trip has been even more significant for me. It's not the first time I've travelled without Imran - oh no it's not! But it's the first time I've left Eesa behind with him for this long (ofcourse he's employing his mama's help but that's ok!). I feel so independent and on my own.

I'm doing this three days service provider training course that ISSA has developed. The purpose of this training is to be able to step out and challenge common myths held by service providers to muslims and also, to be able to train social workers, imams, health providers, teachers, police etc on cultural competancy and sensitivity. So overwhelming. So much to learn and grasp. I'm filled with this inner need to go out and make a difference, to see the change. *sigh* there's so much i want to do, i just don't know how or where to start - typical service provider dillema! *sigh*

my day started with an observation module where i (i was the only one who arrived early) saw Sr Shahina and Sr Aneesah deliver cultural sensitivty and competancy training to non muslim, mainstream service providers. It is expected of us to be able to deliver similar trainings to non muslims by the end of this course. We are also being trained on marriage counselling and pre marital counselling - this is the most intense part of this programme because it involves the neccessity to understand different muslim cultures.

Tmrw's session continues with marriage counselling and marriage counselling for converts followed by Sr shahina's spiritual perspective. the day starts at 7:30 am and I feel pooooooooped. so i'm going to head out. keep chking unshackled to grow with me as I learn!!

Got Sisterhood?

2006-11-08T00:51:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned, how much I love having sisters around - mess and all!!?! yea I've accepted that the messiness is part of the package of having nayma around, but that's not all!

There are perks too! She gets to do all my running around, I get to bully her, i get to vent out at her, she makes Eesa and I breakfast and lunch (yaay!), and above everything, she's my lil star! (*)

But there are downsides too! Day before yesterday, Nayma, Imran and I were bullying each other in the kitchen while I was loading the dishwasher, until Imran said something to Nayma and I - to which i responded by throwing a handful of water at Imo0o. haha! BIG MISTAKE! He obviously couldn't get back at nayma so he avenged it by ducking my head under the kitchen sink tap causing me to turn into an afro-ed Monica (from friends)!!!!!!!!! *sniff*

aaah!!! life is fun when u have three out of six of your most favorite ppl around... imagine when its all six!

YM Eid party...

2006-11-06T01:18:00.000-05:00

Alhamdolillah, the weekend went by sooooper fast. We had our mini eid party on saturday... (well compared to the YM mississauga ones, this one was 5 times the size - 50 ppl!). I couldn't sleep all night in anxiety. I finally fell asleep at like 7:30 in the morning, only to be woken up by Aeram and Atiqa at 9:30.

We had last minute change of plans with the caterers, so instead of catering, we ordered pizza and i cooked pasta, along with a 7 layer dip with nacho chips and corn chips; and hummus with crackers. hummus turned out perfect, but i forgot the seasoning in the beans for the 7 layer dip so it was a lil bland. i also forgot the mayo for the dressing in the taco salad dressing at home, so we couldnt serve that.

Since I couldnt sleep, I did all the cooking on friday night - par some last minute preps that I did there. By the time I got up, showered and got eesa ready, there was no time left for me to iron my clothes or get ready! what a mad rush it was!

Alhamdolillah the party was mad fun. i loved the muslim rendition of musical chairs the best! watching girls run and then *THUD* the girls sitting on the chair was HILLARIOUS! we played jigsaw puzzles too.. *sigh*

I have to say, the highlight of the evening was hearing Beeloo gulp milk. LOL! subhanAllah it sounded so funny! the girls that were praying were worried that he was choking. it was soooo loud too... i could hear it all the way across the hall, in the kitchen. so adorable mashaAllah.

anyhow.. gotta update eesa's blog so i'm off!

Life's lesson #45769865

2006-11-04T03:58:00.000-05:00

I somehow stumbled upon this quote while preparing for tommorow's eid party and thought (very cynically so) how very apt this quote is for those getting married into a joint family system. LOL! how sardonically evil of me!

Anyhow, here it is. Please enjoy it with the same sarcastic and evil humour as I did, elseif disregard it. =P

"If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it. It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission". - Admiral Grace Hopper

Naymee... I miss you already...

2006-11-03T03:28:00.000-05:00

Dearest Nayma,

How three weeks have gone by, I can't even imagine. It's been fun since you've been here. We're upto our usual goofiness. We argue, we hug, we pick on each other, we laugh with each other, and then Imran and I laugh at you. LOL!!!! j/k Having you here makes me miss home so much these days.

(Funny how I still call my parent's place, my home. Growing up we were always on the move across the globe. Over the last 15-20 years, we've never stayed in one home for more than 2 or 3 years. But even then, when I visited India this year... my parent's place felt so much at home. I'd never been there before - materialistically, nothing was mine. It wasn't my room, or a bed that I'd ever slept in nor a kitchen I'd ever stepped into. but even so, everything felt so.. mine! The lifestyle was mine, the feelings were mine, the food was mine and above everything else, the people were mine... aah!)

Anyhow, my lil indian sister (oh I know how you love to be called that!!!) you're leaving come wednesday. man I'm gonna miss you.

So naymzee, here's one for you:

"nuhmah!! don't goooooooooo!!!!" lol

lol! haha! made you happy didn't i? I was lying, don't really want you to stay! just wanted to save myself the hassle of finding a babysitter! LOL! :P:P

muahahaha!!! lol!!! 'Just Kidding' quote unquote you!

Love, Shezii!

Colours..

2006-10-30T21:37:00.000-05:00

I think God made fall for me. Just the perfect richness of reds and orange, tinged with just the right amount of greens. SubhaNAllah.

(pictures courtesy: http://www.perkowitz.net/)

NJ update...

2006-10-29T18:32:00.000-05:00

We've still got our luggage in tow! InshaAllah we're planning to leave after Imran's b-ball Fantasy League draft tonight at 7 inshaAllah.

Here's the sad part! I haven't gone out shopping yet!!! The only place I've been able to sneak into has been walmart and ross! YES! walmart! OMG i went crazy there. everything was like half price. Eesa's pull ups which are regularly 17.99 in Toronto were 8.79 for a bigger pack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! scotch guard which is like 11 bucks in TO was 5 something here. and my favourite... STARCH.... 94cents!!!!!!! i got enchilada sauce, taco bell seasoning for tacos, kosher pringles in cheesums and baked potato flavors (thes eflavors dont even exist in TO) and lots of whack stuff!

at ross i found this really cute b-ball top for eesa... for just 2.99!!!!!!!!! when we got to the counter, the lady mentioned that the outfit has pants with it coz its a 2pc suit. bajia was waiting in the car so i said forget it (i was really happy with that price even as a one pc). last yr i bought him a sacramento kings tshirt for the same price too!

Eesa got horded with eidee. i dont know what to get for him yet. he got tons of gifts too from his extremely boyishly boyish cousins - really cute stuff!

oh how could i forget... i'd been ordering some stuff online for a while and was having them delivered here because of outrageous cutoms prices in canada (we've paid almost thrice the product cost on customs for accessories in imos old car!). i got to open up all the boxes yest and opening gifts is one of the most exciting feelings for me!

acc to imo, here's the most astonishing part .... i didnt visit bath and body works! :O:O *sigh* infact i didnt even visit a mall! *sniff*

ok im out!

In New Jersey...

2006-10-27T16:23:00.000-04:00

It was just a Thought. Then a Consideration. With in minutes it was Decided. Packed. Drove 10 hours. And now Arrived Alhamdolillah.

Update: We're in New Jersey. Day before yesterday I mentioned to Imran how I was really missing family on Eid and ran the idea of meeting cousins and aunt in New Jersey. I'd been wanting to meet my aunt who's been over from Pak for a while. Anyhow, it was barely a two minute convo.

Yesterday morning, Imran calls from work and says he's renting the car and could take friday off if we wanna go. Sheza has a hard time saying no to time with her cousins, so sheza said 'yaaaay'. Car and a 10 hour drive later - we're here!!

It's nice being here and spending time with family. it's sooo relaxing alhamdolillah. i even convinced my cousin to let us paint the kiddos' rooms. One of them is a 14 yr sport freak boy and loves lime green (yaaaaaaaY!) so we painted his room green with sporty stuff around the room. the other is a 12 year old girl who loves purple and glittery stuff so we painted her room a pale purple with lots of glittery star stuff stencilled on.

anyhow, we're driving back on sunday. so inshaAllah hear back more from me then!

Wednesday wanderings thought 3: Because, somehow, it all clicks...

2006-10-26T02:08:00.000-04:00

Camera... action...

*click*

Moonsighting...

2006-10-22T23:27:00.000-04:00

I miss the days when we used to go to karachi for Eid. Right after maghrib prayers, all of us cousins would run upstairs and scan the skies.

Aaagh! the good old technology-free days!

Eidun Saeed...

2006-10-22T01:45:00.000-04:00

It's here. It's that time of the year when I get to fully turn on my fairy lights, lay out my new beddings and adorn new clothes.

We'd be celebrating eid on monday inshaAllah but most likely would be going to my in-laws on sunday night. That left us with just today and tmrw to put together everything. It was a tradition at my grandparents and parents' place to give the house a makeover on eid. It was what made Eid so special for us.

So today we took on the tradition upon ourselves to give Eesa the "eid feel'. We started by giving the house a spring clean. I made out a list of things that needed tobe done and got nayma into the game plan as well =). Here's what our tasks list looked like..

Task Owner Check

NBA LIVE 07 Reward!!

Kitchen floor Imran DONE
Kitchen Stove Imran DONE
Kitchen Sink Imran DONE
Kitchen Counters Imran DONE
Dishwasher three of us DONE
Dining table Nayma DONE
Vacuum Nayma DONE
Mop living room. Sheza DONE
Remove bedding Sheza
Laundry bedding Imran
Lay out new bedding Sheza
Wash washroom Sheza DONE
Clear office Sheza DONE
Curtains Imran
Put away winter clothes. Imran
Move lamps Sheza DONE
Clean microwave Nayma DONE
Clean fridge Sheza
Clean front closet Sheza DONE
Clean flower pot Imran DONE
Iron eid clothes Sheza Done

I've also managed to alphabetize all our dvds... let's see how long those last with eesa around!

Eid is sooooo exciting this year!! I've patiently waited 6 months to lay out my fave bedding set from chen one in pak.. it was a bedding i fell in love with at first sight while i was in khi. But to add that lil zing to the excitement, nayma's in town. So you know what that means!!! she's painting! she's painting out my bedding prints onto canvases... one's done, one more to go! they look GORGEOUS mashaAllah! i have new curtains going up as well inshaAllah, along with a new sofa that will be ordered on tuesday! =)

my eid gift shopping isnt complete, but it's become so much of a headache, i've just given up on it. i started out with my list before eid since i hate shopping ramadan. now we've decided to get the immediate family tickets to a raptors game. so now im just going to gift out the gifts to extended family(imran's first cousins etc)!! Imran has three cousins that are tiny, that I havent bought anything for yet. still gotta get that done inshaAllah and then I'm done!

there's so much i wanna write! but i just realized i have an asgmt that i need to touch up on so i can hand it in before monday! so tadaaa! talk to ya guys laterrrrrr

Hurricane aunty...

2006-10-21T09:38:00.000-04:00

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Today I've learnt that giving naseeha(advice) is alot easier giving than taking it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-
I've often mentioned how I love alfalah. I've never mentioned two of my favourite characters there. One is the Hurricane aunty and the other one's her counterpart - the milder, snowstorm aunty.

These two paki aunties come to the masjid for one month a year and bully the rest of us like anything. The snowstorm aunty gave me nightmares last year after i saw her screaming at one of the volunteers on eid day who was frying samosas for the mosque fundraiser. I thought she was the hurricane but ever since i've seen this new one, i think her intensity is more like that of a snowstorm.

The aunties at the masjid host iftar for one night in ramadan. the day before this night, they came into the masjid and cleaned out the mosque. they went into places, i would never dare going into and dug out all the mess. They even placed plants etc around the mosque. They definitely deserve kudos for it.

This iftar happened somewhere in the middle of Ramadan this year. Suddenly from the very next night, the moment you had food in your hand, they'd run to u and put plastic mats underneath your food. Now don't get me wrong, it's excellent that they took the initiative to do so... but there are manners to do so as well. Alfalah has a sisters prayer hall and a general area for kids etc. These aunties would kick you out from even there. The snowstorm aunty did most of this bullying.

Now comes the hurricane aunty. Picture this. isha prayers just got over, imaam just lead an awesome isha, with the most tranquil recitation ever. He now gives you a break to do sunnah. With the isha he just lead, you're really looking forward to the taraweeh with him. Break over. Imaam is now starting his taraweeh. He says 'Allahu akbar'. *wham* the door for the sisters hall opens and in walks in the hurricane aunty screaming away for sisters to fill in gaps. Lady, couldn't u do this before the iimaam said Allahu akbar? and do u neccessarly have to scream to do this? I kid you not, she literally bullies everyone in an extremely rude way.

Today, imo's cousin braced herself to politely pull hurricane aunty to the side and mention to her that what she does it not only rude, but very disturbing during prayers. She did this in a very polite way by pulling the lady to the side and everything. Moreover, B mentioned that hurricane aunty's volume is so loud, she can easily be heard in the men's section.

WHOOOOOAAAA! big mistake!

Poor B, she faced the hurricane onslaught. B is a very soft spoken girl whereas aunty hurricane is loud and aggressive. Aunty Hurricane got so loud, we all became so aware of what was going on. and since we all had the same problem with aunty hurricane, there was a LARGE group of women standing there and complaining to aunty hurricane abt the same thing. B explained very nicely, that imagine yourself being at the prophets time, would the prophet scream at the women the way you do? the prophet led by example, stand in a line and pull people closer! if there are gaps still, its not ur problem. the hurricane aunty turned it around and said: well when u guys talk, doesnt it bother others? we said, well thats your naseeha for us, we accept it - we wont talk. you should accept your naseeha. so the aunty raised her voice louder and started pointing fingers at B (i swear my heart was crying out for B!) and said, "i've been told by alot of ppl abt this, but gaps still remain, i've been doing it for 6 yrs, i will differ wth your argument and continue to do so". B apologized and said "i'm not trying to be rude but i think u represent me as a muslim and what you do is wrong, the prophet peace be upon him would never yell at his wives lke you do". the aunty goes "well the women never listen and i will correct them anyway" and walked off while venting to aunty storm..

here's my issue:
a: the imam announces for everyone to straighten their lines and eveyrone is supposed to follow, if they don't, it's their accountability.

b: both these aunties are part of a sisters tarbiyah program, if all they do is smell and yell, what do they learn in these classes if the youth have to correct them? even f you are not a die hard practicing muslim, these are basic human ettiquettes that are shared be humanity across the globe! but then this is a mosque, throw into the equation a religion of peace and love, a prophet of exemplary compassion - where does this behavour fit?

c: the hurricane aunty kept pointing fngers at B and kept yelling at her and kept dilating her eyes, as though she was talking to animals (and i swear to you, that's how she yells at people in the masjid!). *grr* what are they learning?

d: hurricane aunty kept admitting people have told her to stop before but she continues to do so because people arent learnng. HELLO! maybe your method isnt the best???

e: if you're happily bossing away ppl wth your naseeha, be ready to take it back too. if you're not happy with the way they stand, they're not happy with the way you yell. if you can give it, be ready to take it right back!

e: who has made her the officer-in-charge anyway??

A Race Against Time...

2006-10-18T05:57:00.000-04:00

So much to do, such little time...

- Confirm speakers for qiyam ul layl
- Make flyer for Qiyaam
- Arrange food for qiyaam ul layl
- make schedule for qiyaam ul layl
- Eid clothes
- Eesas eid clothes
- Get iron on basketball
- Imran's Eid clothes
- Iron Eid clothes
- Make gift list for immediate family
- Do gift list shopping
- Make gift list for extended family and friends
- Do gift list shopping
- Complete group process asgmt
- Complete fem counselling asgmt
- Complete revision for intr to fem
- email essay to marg by thurs
- Pick up foundation from MAC
- Request extensions for all asgmts due on monday
- Call tassavur
- Call Muslim welfare Centre
- Call Atiqa
- Visit Costco for jalapeno poppers
- sofa (*groans*)
- Eesa's appointment (moved to oct 31st, 1:30)
- ask maryam abt counselling asgmt
- toys r us (trampoline, carseat toys)
- bank (abbu's work)
- shoppers drug mart (imo's work)
- post the mail for ISSA
- Scream into a pillow!

She's here...

2006-10-16T01:03:00.000-04:00

Thank God for surprises. My lil sis, Nayma, showed up from India today! I knew she was coming sometime near eid, was expecting her next week! I'm so happy she came earlier. yaaaaaaaaaay!

I was at an iftar when she came, everyone kept asking me how come it was a surprise. Well, my family loves surprises esp for me since I'm the only one so far away. Alhamdolillah I love them too coz it saves me from waiting. And waiting patiently, is something I'm so not good at! Alhamdolillah!

And ofcourse, she arrived a few hours ago, we've already started devouring my fave yummy dark chocolate with almonds from Taj, tried out all the abayas, rummaged through the million and one hijabs, skirts and earrings. =)

Love you mama for sending them and love u naymz for bringing them!=)

It's confirmed...

2006-10-15T16:30:00.000-04:00

I'm off to Winnipeg, Manitoba in just abt 3 weeks for my training! booyaaka!

yeaaa huh! 3 days! just me, myself and I! =)

A sometimes sobia realization....

2006-10-15T01:08:00.000-04:00

Constant agreeing and unconditional obedience does not translate to respect.

(thnx Sobia!)

Fall...

2006-10-11T22:54:00.000-04:00

I love the season.
I love the colours.
I love the smell.
I love the clean plants.

But dear God, I don't love the gloomy days! I don't love the mugginess. I dont love the migraines. Dear God, Please send us a cool sun - the kind that doesnt require us to perspire nor wear a jacket!! I just want the brightness back!

On organizing...

2006-10-10T03:30:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since i shared my organizing inspirations. LOL. I think I'd rate organized living as one of the 15 most fulfilling feelings in the world! this evening, imran was asking me if i knew where somethng was. imagine his shock when i told him, 'it's the third paper in the second last file in the filing box which is on the far right on the right shelf in the closet'. i know exactly where everything is!!!!!!!!!! it's soooooooooo time saving! (with the midterms coming up in two weeks, thats a definite bonus!)

ive also set up a schedule for myself so it doesnt feel as though im cleaning all the time, every day.

Imran takes out the trash and recycling everyday. I also sweep the floor and do the dishes everyday. Also, every day, we spend five minutes towards a quick tidy in each room - make the bed, wipe the bedsides, pick up clothes/socks etc. It usually doesnt even take five minutes in most rooms. Eesa's room usually takes the longest coz of his toys but even then,, while he makes the bed (yes, he knows exactly how to!!!), i pick up the toys and hang clothes etc. this way we're done in under 10 mins.

Mondays we clean the kitchen throughly and tuesdays is bathrooms. wednesday is for the living room and dining (dusting and wiping/sweeping/vacuuming everything and i mean EVERYTHING). thursdays is for office and entry way (entry way closets too). friday is sweeping/vacuuming(it's on its way!) and dusting the bedrooms. I also clean the blinds on friday mornings.

this way im not obsessively cleaning away already clean rooms. And since everything is mantained well, it usually doesnt take longer than 45 minutes to an hour each day. When i clean the rooms, i clean from top to bottom in a 360, around the room from left to right.

The highlight of this has been the fact that we also ordered a new vacuum!!! once that arrives, cleaning would hopefully be a breeze inshaAllah. I'm really picky abt vacuums so we never got around to buying ourselves one ever since we moved. i had a list of requirements in my vacuum and wasnt willing to compromise until i found the right one. I hate vacuums with bags (coz of all the discontinuing they do) so I needed a bagless one. I needed it to be 1o amps or 12 amps - 7 amp ones are simply horrible! (ask mannam, they work like men without food!) I needed one with a HEPA filter (theyre excellent for removing dust mites in mattresses, sofas and pillows!). i also didnt want a stick vac (again, they dont have the power). and i wanted it in any colour but red and black! (don't ask me why!!)

i'd narrowed down to three that i really liked. about 2 months ago they went on sale(all during the same week) and were sold out within 15 minutes of store opening on saturday. there was almost an 80 bucks difference in price and i wasnt in a rush so i wanted to wait out for hte next sale. We almost missed it this week too since there were none left in store. We were going to get a raincheck on it but settled on buying it online instead. although it was only 50 bucks off this week, Alhamdolillah i'm super excited abt it. What i like the most abt this vacuum is the fact that it comes with a handheld vacuum too - which makes it soooo convenient for the crumbs that make their way under the sofa cushions!

oh lastly, coming back to the organizing!! another trick that i find time saving is that I keep a basket with me while i'm cleaning so that if i come across something that doesnt belong in the particular area, i just put it in the basket. The next day, when i go from room to room to do my morning 5 minute clean up, i carry the basket with me and replace everything to its place! otherwise, if something is not where its supposed to be, i know it hasnt been replaced and is still in the basket!

I've been looking for random inspirations these days. I've been bugging friends/cousins for their stories/ideas. if you've got some...share!

Technology...

2006-10-06T15:20:00.000-04:00

It is perhaps the height of technology to be blogging while driving - on a wireless toll-ed highway (hwy 407)- using a wireless modem (blackberry) on a wireless laptop with a wireless GPS map tracker!

Mind boggling!

p.s. being able to chat on msn while on long drives has finally allowed me to welcome this previously wretched device into the Merchant-Hasan household!

Welcome Blackberry - we may just get along!

Getting it all together...

2006-10-06T02:41:00.000-04:00

It's about putting the lows with the highs.

The last few weeks have seen an intense emotional flux, moments of introspections, reflections and acute realizations. Nothing dramatically depressing or joyful, but enough "drama" to bring about an overwhelming sense of self actualization and of gratitude. Gratitude for all that Allah swt has blessed me with and a whole lot more that He has saved me from.

Nothing shames me more into gratitude towards Allah swt that the mere fact that I was born a muslim. (the feminist in me wishes to emphasize 'muslim female', at this point). Despite the many gut wrenching, emotional events of the last few weeks, Alhamdolillah i feel quite content and tranquil. And sometimes having that feeling of inner peace and the tranquility of being content is way more satisfying than having short moments of hapiness.

This Ramadan has been the first ramadan in the last 3 yrs that I'm really enjoying. I've felt that the last three ramadans came and went by without me extracting enough from it. Despite the constant reminders of Sa'ad's absence, Imo's frequent travel, friends needing emotional support and a few other hiccups here and there, this Ramadan seems to be converging the down days with high days. Alhamdolillah, the balance of high days is like an emerging Prius within me - my very own internal hybrid of contentment. =)

I've been all over in this post. Perhaps a representation of the inner need to pay gratitude to the many forms of blessings i've been surrounded with or perhaps its simply the inability of words to reflect the Prius of my mind. Praise be to Allah swt.

I heart Al falah

2006-10-05T01:37:00.000-04:00

Ramadan Kareem

2006-09-28T22:42:00.000-04:00

Fools!

2006-09-22T15:35:00.001-04:00

This is a 6 minute video about musharraf that is soooooooo WORTH a watch!

The irony is that Bush won the stupidity award this year. Who knows, next year it might be Bush-arraf!

Tagged..

2006-09-21T03:53:00.000-04:00

I've been tagged by Jaded, Tez and BPC.

I am thinking about... a nice vacation to nj during the october long weekend and a nice semi-vacation to winnipeg, Manitoba during the nov 10-12 weekend to meet shahina siddiqui! Anything nice to kickback and relax at. (our plans never work out if we plan them, so im trying not to think abt them too much and keep it as spur of the moment as possible!)

I said... i can't stand mice!

I want to... go for hajj and get my degree completed and get liscence sorted!!!

I wish... it was easy as typing it out!

I miss... my parents and S & N! :'( (the most)

I hear... cars outside.

I wonder... what goes through the mind of a murderer/rapist when he actually considers doing something so heinous and digusting!

I regret... nothing that I want badly enough.

I am... a mother, a daughter, a wife, a social worker, a business woman, a student, a volunteer, a daughter in law to four women and on the bright side... a fan of flourescent green and bright orange!

I dance... like a leaping frog!

I sing... horribly off tune!

I cry... rarely in public. i have a hard time displaying emotions in public, so its usually not until something touches me deeply.

I am not always... kind! *muahaha*

I write... to vent out everything on my mind.

I confuse... everything!

I need... a light blue sofa and two coffee tables from ikea!!

I should try... there's something id be dying to try for months! i found a friend at college who took lessons from a famous teacher and now she's agreed to give 15 minute classes to 6 of us, every monday, at school during our dinner break!!! i missed out on the first class this monday coz i wasnt feeling too great, but inshaAllah i'm starting next monday! even imran doesnt know exactly what it is, so until he finds out(dec 22nd inshaAllah!), i can't publicize it here! (that is if i even chooose to!:P) =)

i tag.. i dunno who'd do it. but sure: maryam, aasi, ayesha, cindi, naymz and bpc!

Zen Living

2006-09-17T00:23:00.000-04:00

Got this in an email. So worth sharing!

Zen Living

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

7. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

10. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

11. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

12. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

It's only words...

2006-09-16T16:25:00.000-04:00

Life's blessings. All it takes is a hubby away on a business trip and a random five minute convo (that jumps from sandals to bedlinens to favorite colours to car beds and "marriage") to remind you of the countless blessings you truly are blessed with! MashaAlllah!

Imo0o's Half says:
eesa's outgrowing his bed soon though
Imo0o's Half says:
he falls off alot
Imo0o's Half says:
and he moves alot in bed too
c m p... says:
i still roll outta mine so can't help you there
Imo0o's Half says:
lol
Imo0o's Half says:
i think i still would too if i wasnt married
Imo0o's Half says:
i have a big anchor sleeping next to me nowadays
c m p... says:
Imo0o's Half says:
lol
Imo0o's Half says:
i still cant believe im married
Imo0o's Half says:
four years and ababy later, im still getting to used to it!
Imo0o's Half says:
its more like living with a room mate at college
c m p... says:
good.. that means you're having fun
Imo0o's Half says:
only your roommate is a boy and ur mums ok with it!
c m p... says:
discoveries and excitement every day
Imo0o's Half says:
alhamdolillah yup!
c m p... says:
that's such a brilliant way of seeing it
Imo0o's Half says:
hmm
Imo0o's Half says:
overall, i love being married alhamdolillah
Imo0o's Half says:
altho i hate the term marriage/married etc
Imo0o's Half says:
sounds like a very restrictive word
Imo0o's Half says:
cohabitation! yup thats it!
Imo0o's Half says:
actually no... that sounds really dictionary-ish too!
c m p... says:
in most cases it is... you're lucky you can fit it into more manageable synonyms
Imo0o's Half says:
Masha-Allah yup!!
Imo0o's Half says:
a good friend of mine is living in a marriage where she cant come to love her husband
Imo0o's Half says:
but she has a child and she's 'loving' her marriage for the sake of fulfilling her duties
Imo0o's Half says:
may Allah swt reward her for her patience. Ameen
colour me purple... says:
i have friends like that too

Cosby

2006-09-16T03:08:00.000-04:00

All during my stormy boyhood years, I wanted to get some calves' brains and keep them in my pocket. Then, when my mother hit me in the head, I would throw them on the floor. Knowing her, however, she merely would have said, "Put your brains back in your head! Don't ever let your brains fall out of your head! Have you lost your mind?"

- Bill Cosby.

Patience is a virtue indeed....

2006-09-08T23:28:00.000-04:00

Shezzi heart orange. Shezzi heart florescent green.

Shezzi'd been eyeing these green sandals at Sportschek for 4 months - throughout the summer! But shezzi already had her fairly new ones from last year, so she didnt want to buy a new one. Sometime during the summer, Shezii saw those same sandals go on sale for 25% off. Shezzii held onto her wallet and resisted the urge to splurge.

But!!! Today shezii went to STC and her fave sandals were not on display. Her heart went *smashing smashing*.

She asked the salegirl, 'what happened to the green and grey sandals by gravity?'.
Salesgirl said, 'gravity came out with a new style for next summer so they've discontinued those ones'
(Shezii's heart went *banging banging*)
Shezii begged the salesgirl to help her locate one in any of the other stores in the area.
(Salesgirl be wery, wery nice.)
(She went into the store room and found shezii one, but it was a size too big.)
Shezii said she no mind!

Shezii asked 'how much?'
Salegirls said 'regular price, the sandals arent on sale anymore'.
Shezii gulped and said, 'it's ok! I'll still take them'

Shezii went to the cashier
Cashier said 'the sandals are on clearance. 75% offf!!!!!!!!!!'

BOOYAKA!

Shezii took a non stop flight, right up to cloud 9!

aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

A great end to a horrible week!

Look and Drool! =)

May you rest in Peace...Ameen

2006-09-07T01:56:00.000-04:00

I just found out that my Dad's grandma just passed away. SubhanAllah. Inna lilllahi wa Inna ilaihi Raajiioon. Everything belongs to Him and to Him we will return.

Dadda ammoo, as we would call her, has always been the umbrella of our family. Every year, when we would go to Karachi for Eid, as soon as the men would return from prayers, we would drive off to meet her. My earliest memories remember her as a frail lady - graceful nonetheless. even when i met her earlier this year, close to her mid 90's in age, her skin was radiant and glowing mashaAllah. With her alive, we were five generations together in Karachi this year. Now we're down to four. =(

As i grow older, one by one, the people whom I cherish seem to keep passing on. I wish their wisdom retains somehow. I sometimes wish, to be able to just turn around and ask my grandfather for an advice. Or simply listen to him. Every so often, on fridays I still open my inbox hoping for an email from him. I wish, but oh do I wish, that I hadnt hit delete on those emails. I still have one or two. But many, many are gone. Every eid, I picture him returning from namaz, in his clean, crisp white starched shalwar qameez, handing out money. Eids here are never the same. I miss the festivites at my my grandparents house in karachi. Everyone taking the effort to get new clothes made. Getting matching accessories. Cousins going shopping together. Spending chaand raat trying to give the house a new look - from new curtains to cushion covers (hand emroidered by my daadi herself) to bedsheets. Everything new came out on eid - just watching my grandparents glow at the new look is a memory so priceless.

This year, as i was hugging my grandparents on my way to the airport in karachi, I couldnt help but wonder if we would ever meet again. As much as I missed Toronto, I wanted to hold on to them for a moment longer. I can still feel my naana's hands going over my head. The words of my naani's duas. Word by word. The tearful, warm embrace from my daadi. I can still picture my daadi standing at the door to the driveway, waving goodbye in tears.

Today, these memories are engraved in my soul as fine as death in my fate. I can close my eyes and re-live those moments to the minutest detail. The colour of my naani's sari. The softness of her hands. The shape of my naana's beard. The way amma(my daadi) rolled her eyes away to hide her tears.

The memories I have of Karachi with my grandparents, will never die. I wondered why I could hate a city so. I've realized it's out of my love that I hate it. I hate the fear and agony my loved ones live in, day after day. Sometimes I long to be wonderwoman. Just so I could flap my wings and fly out to be with my grandparents.

I hate death. I can't fathom it. I'm not afraid of dying but I don't like it when people die. I don't like living in the fear of knowing that someone close to me will soon no longer be. I remember a time when I used to pray that I die before those that are really close to me. Ever since I've learnt it's ungratefulness towards Allah swt, I've stopped praying that way. But I do pray that InshaAllah I have Barakah in the time I spend with everyone. ameen.

Have I ever mentioned how tough it is to live oceans away from your parents? It's at moments like these, you wish to be surrounded by your family. With those who truly understand what you're going through. It's at these moments that I wish i lived in karachi. and then...

And then, i think of a life without bijli aur paani (electricity and water) and roads with bumps (synonymous with Wonderland's DropZones) and mosques without women and shopping malls with molesters and gropers and then with a sigh, i silence my thoughts and say Alhamdolillah!

I miss you and I love you. :x

p.s. i will NOT publish anonymous messages on this post. So kindly, don't bother.

Update..

2006-09-07T01:13:00.000-04:00

I can't say it enough! I'm a Chaaaaachee. It feels amazing. =) Ok I hate it when people call it chuhchee... i feel 200 years old! its chaaaaaaaachi. come on, open ur mouth big and wide when u say it!

Ran into aasi and moody this weekend while they were dropping rizzi at my in laws' place after their course. Everyone that's attended the course so far has really enjoyed it. InshaAllah we'll try to attend the next one. There's a speculation it's going to be on the Fiqh of love. I'm looking for something more knowledge intensive but I guess i'll settle on learning abt love for now!:P The stories everyone narrates from the classes are awesome. i heard one this weekend and i've been dying to share it o the best of my interpretation.

The story is about Umar (Rad) who was one of the strongest warriors of islam. He was known for his bravery and people actually feared him. One day, someone heard noises from his house. His wife was screaming at him. She was yelling and yelling. But Umar Rad was not doing anything to stop her. This infuriarted the eavesdropper alot. When Umar (rad) stepped out of his house, the eavesdropper asked him 'Why would you not control your wife?'. Umar (rad) replied, 'she is a good wife, she takes care of the kids, she takes care of me... etc etc. Every woman needs a lil venting. so let her vent'. AAAH! the wisdom!

speaking of wisdom. i have a new wisdom tooth growing. talk abt late! it's sooooo painful. I've been surviving on tylenol to keep the fever under control. poor hubby ordered shawarmas in last night and today came home early so i could catch some sleep while he looked after eesa. he made dinner too. we finally cooked brown food at home, people! lol. we've also been spraying airfresheners ever since. lol.

i've also tried to keep up with some organizing projects her eand there. it's ever so rewarding. The sense of accomplishment i achieve from clenaing and organizing is unbelievable. Comparatively i hate cooking. it's like u spend ages cooking and within minutes its gone. it's almost like pooping. you finally get your boats to float and then 'whosh!' you drown 'em out with a flush! (can you tell that I no longer live in a family full of girls?:P

oh and i've been trying to figure out a system to organize my makeup and accessories. i have this big ugly jewlelry box that i currently use to keep my makeup but now my sis wants the box (and im only too glad to get rid of it). anyone have any good ideas? i keep a transparent shoe organizer in my front closet to hold our winter gloves etc. In two of those pockets i keep a bottle of perfume and lotion each. and in the third one, i keep some clips and a colored lipgloss and liner. they help out for a quick fix before i open the door for I. but i need a system in my closet or dresser to organize and hold my other stuff. any ideas anyone?

apart from that... picnic this sat! reach;) hhaha! me gone!

I'm a chaaachiii!

2006-09-03T12:12:00.000-04:00

This announcement comes a lil late, but.......

I'm a CHACHI! =) and i've adopted him - unofficially!

I'm gonna be Chaachi-o-fied inshaAllah!

2006-09-01T05:29:00.000-04:00

Maryam's left for the hospital people!!!

Pampering...

2006-08-30T17:54:00.000-04:00

I finally decided to donate and organize some really valuable books that I'd collected over the last few years. As sad as I was, nothing comforts and rewards like a deep, thorough, ubtan massage. =)

All it took was a lovely khala, armed with ubtan to yellow up your arms, legs, feet and face (- not to forget ur sink and bathtub)!!! Followed by a nice, intense hot oil massage in my hair and shoulder.

I feel like a spanking new, low maintenance Ferrari that's come out of a car wash in winter!! Ah!

Blogword of the week: End

2006-08-30T01:42:00.000-04:00

I've often slipped into living my life by default. Taking it as it comes, floating like the wandering foam in the sea - directed by the tide, no purpose, no destination.

I forget the end. The moment of recompense, the accounting of my actions. I unconciously live for the moment of joy that today awaits.

As though, waiting to remind me of the end, Ramadan lies over the beginning of a new moon or two - reminding me that this too, shall pass. Lest, I grab it before the end.

(picture: courtesy google search - judgement day)

Happy 100th!

2006-08-19T01:50:00.000-04:00

This month, it's been a year since I've been blogging. This is my hundredth post and what better stuff to write about than a list of me favourite thingees! I got tagged by one of my readers. I'm supposed to paste out a list of my favourite things. in ech criteria. however after a whiel i thouht why not be triger happy and click some photos from aound the ahouse. l And I'm tagging all of you! Whoever reads this, is tagged and has to follow suit! Be sure to leave ur blogger links, ill definitely chk it out!

So here goes! All u have to do is take snaps of ur favorite stuff in the following categories. Go ahead, get wild and create ur own categories if u want. Merry snapping!

Bath Products.

My ultimate favorite is Cool Citrus basil from Bath and Body works. I love their entire line... their body spray, shower gel, bubble bath, hand wash, lotion etc. It's very sharp and invigorating.. nothing flowery but definitely sexy! The downfall? It's discontinued so they don't sell it year round. They only show up during the semi annual sales and in large bottles. i have to fill up my own travel sized bottles. We all have our own signature smells, Aisha has Sweet Pea and Maryam has Sheer Freesia... mine is Cool citrus Basil ...o0O(psst! ...mine is the best:P)! =) ;)

The Body shop also carries a burning oil called Lemon Basil. Definitely a must have, after those desi food cooking sessions! I also like the body shop's Satsuma burning oil.

Perfume

My ultimate favourite! Dreams by Gap. I'm not into those flashy brand named perfumes. I'm not sure how much of a brand name Gap is, but it's definitely not out there with CDior etc. Brand name or not, I SIMPLY love the smell. My second fave is Swiss Army for Women.

Chocolate

I couldn't find an image for this chocolate, but I assure you it's absolutely DIVINE! Imran's aunt introduced me to it in Pakistan this year when she brought it back from India and I got addicted. It's from Taj hotel in India - THE Taj hotel. It's dark chocolate with roasted almonds and is Rs 800/kg. To put it into perspective, thats almost $20CDN/kg(2lbs). I had it in Khi when Imran's aunt brought it back and had some more of it in India. Sheer indulgence! Apart from that, I love all almond and hazelnut-ty chocolates:P

Flavour

I'm not an avid coffee drinker. Infact I had my first cup of coffee at taraweeh at Alfalah two years ago (this was a few days after Eesa was born ...aaah! good times!) when Maryam brought it. Even now I don't drink warm coffee. However I love anything and everything that's coffee flavoured. I love coffee icecream, coffee cakes, tiramisus etc. Remember Kopikos? the coffee flavoured candies? I love the aroma of coffee but I don't like drinking coffee. There was a coffee place in karachi on zamzama that we used to go alot to (arghh i can't remember it's name!), i used to just love the smell in there (*blogger's we had our meetup there!). Tim horton's here doesnt have that coffee smell, thanks to the aroma of bagels and donuts etc. (altho imran swears coffee here tastes much better). Oh reminds me! Since I don't drink coffee, but love the smell of it, I used to walk down to that coffee place in khi to drink lemonade!!? My cousin, FH, was in a shock! After one of our shopping sprees, i took her for some designer lemonade! lol She's from isloo and in her funny urdu, she went 'is mein koun si khaas baat hai?' (whats so special abt this?). Anyhow, this post is about my favourites and my favorite flavour is coffee. The above picture is from our trip to montreal... my fave iced caps (cappucinos)! the BEST, when served with buttered sesame bagels! mmmhmm sooo good!

Colour

Orange is definitely my favourite colour. It's just sooo me. I think no colour defines me more than this one. It's completely me. I like my colour to be completely me. I've gone from red to purple to blue to now orange. These days I love the combination of chocolate brown with orange. Notice how my taste in colours grew from tame to wild? Bright green is a close second, followed by chrome (think IKEA rocking chair!!).

Books

I think no book excited me as this one. From suspense/mystery to horror/thriller to romance/drama to sci-fi to supernatural spooky ghost tales and miracles to fairy tales to action to comedy to fiction, The Holy Quran(the religious script for muslims) is all genre in one. Each time you read it, you see something new in a different way. No book is close to being as mystical as this one!

p.s. for ramadan, I'll be compiling a cd of the quran with my favorite recitation of entire quran, by recitors like bukhatir, sudais, effassy, ghamidi etc. I will put in only my fave recitationIf you'd like a copy of it, plz be sure to drop me an email at missbhoot@hotmail.com with your postal address from anywhere in the world. I'd love to send you a copy as a means of accumulating extra rewards for the sake fo Allah swt during ramadan (and after) inshaAllah. If you're not a muslim or a new muslim, plz be sure to mention it, I'd love to send you more stuff!

Accessory

efinitely, Handbags/burses/totes!!! My fave accessories by far! For handbags, I really like Matt & Nat's stuff when it comes to chic stuff and Reebok when it comes to sporty stuff. I have to say my all time fave is my beige and orange reebok bag that I got from the Reebok store in India.

SJ!

2006-08-19T01:34:00.000-04:00

Was just speaking to the culprit behind my addiction to blogspot. Within just a few conversations, she's really helped me realize alot of personality flaws I've carried in me. Some of which I never even realized I had - SuhanAllah!

I don't wish to sound like a suck up, you know who you are. Thanks for being brutally honest - it's the one trait I most admire of yours!! I just want you to know that I love you for the sake of Allah swt!

s says:
the most you can do is try to live a life that on some level is an exmaple somewhere-
s says:
you cant change everything in one go but persistently some day somewhere some change wi;l;l be made-
s says:
by labelling and judging you only do yourself a disservice

Regards,
Your 'baji'-type fan! (gosh i can't believe ive turned into one of THEM!)

Organizing..

2006-08-18T15:05:00.000-04:00

Ok guys, Yes I'm here and around. Been organizing and creating systems for everything around the apartment. Alhamdolillah, slow and steady its working out purrfect! I think I'm bordering OCD now and considering the fact that it runs in my family, I'm getting a lil scared! I really don't want to turn into one of those organized people that have schedules for the rest of the year and plan where they want to be next yr, today and have panic attacks the moment somethings out of place (yes NB, i'm talking abt u!). However, I like my things being organized and sortted etc. It's so appealing to the eye:P.

On of my greatest accomplishments over the last three days has been changing eesa's dresser -i'm finally part of the malm dresser fans list! It's soooo worth it. It is not bulky and ALOT more roomy than the traditional ones. Morever, its not wood on wood so it slides out real easy. It's one of those MUST haves that I really recommend. Havign done that, Eesa's room is already in order. I don't think i've mentioned it yet but I put up wallies all over and spruced up Eesa's room as a surprise to imran when he got back from vancouver 2-3wks ago. Imran had mentioned he liked the nascar wallies when we went to pick up the lil tikes one, but i pretended i didnt like it. while imran was gone, Eesa and i went and got those and stuck them all over. Imran's aunts came over abt 2 wks ago and they said it looks like imran's dream room. lol

I've also officially organized my purses. I love changing my purses often so I've created a system that makes it convenient to switch. I used a small pouch and threw in travel sized bottles of lotion, body spray and mouth wash, hand sanitizer, gum, pad-writing and sanitary, a lipstick, a pen, a toonie and a quarter for snacks and calls incase the cell dies, and attached two safety pins and a bumble bee hijab pin to the zipper. So now instead of figuring wht goes, what doesnt, all i have to do is take the pouch and wallet and put it in the new purse whenever i feel liek changing it. Phone and keys, I add at the last moment anyway. I also hate having to carry reciepts incase i want to return the product, so I've created a section for it in my wallet and intend to dispose them off once its past 90 days. I also keep a fortress of a muslim and diaper for Eesa in my purse but that's something I don't switch in each purse. (i've just realized if someone plans to do an identity theft on me, it's ever so easy! they'd even know what's in my purse!!!)

I also came up with a substitue for diaper bags since I hate carrying them (even the mommy bags), so I've put together pouches (3 for $2 at party packagers :P). Each pouch includes a pack of cookies, an infant's tylenol, a bandaid, a pen, some hand sanitizer(2 for a buck at dollarama:P), vaseline, one small toy, a toonie for snacks and a quarter for emrgncy phone calls, and a diaper. ive placed one of these pouches in his stroller and another one in our car since those are the only two ways we travel by.

i also chucked out most of the stuff from our bedside tables. usually its a catch all for all the stuff that doesnt have a home. Alhamdolillah i cleaned them out. While my sister was here, i got her to wrap some shoe boxes in pretty paper for me. so they're my subsitute for the fancy storage boxes u get at ikea. I used those to hold the stuff i need in my bedside tables along with alot of baskets.

Speaking of ikea, I've also narrowed down my choice of dressers for our room to two. It's either the malm one in medium brown or this ramberg one. inshaAllah i should have that decided by this weekend.

Our dishwasher is finally up and running. I gave all my dishes a pre-emptive hygiene wash since I seem to be having alot of fruit flies these days and they disgust me like anything. My fridge too got a major cleaning job done in it, altho the freezer still needs some cleaning to be done. I've run out of lysol and am using some cheap spray we bought from dollarama when we first moved. I'm ever so paranoid that the counter isnt clean enough... (ok yes i am turning into an OCD!). Speaking of liquid cleaners, I have to say that Fantastik is absolutely the best. i had removed some of the caulk from around my bathtub earlier and it was showing alot of mould. I just sprayed fantastik and it completely removed the mould. Even after eesa takes a bath, there's usually a line around the bathtub and with the dollarama spray i had to scrub it out. With fantastik, all i do is spray and leave it for a minute and then simply wipe it off. Even the faucets sparkle.

So inshaAllah, by this weekend I should be all done and flying without a plane, as the previous post says. As the night progresses, I seem to get all this weird energy that just gets me going in the cleaning phase. its weird!

Anyhow, this has been the girliest post i've written in ages. I never imagined myself turning into an aunty - but an aunty i am!

Sheer Joy...

2006-08-15T02:47:00.000-04:00

It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you have wanted to do so badly. You almost feel like you could fly without the plane.

--Charles Lindbergh

(for me, its the contagious cleaning and organizing disease Maryam carries. Finally got a chance to do alot of things today, just LOVING it.)

Baby poop...er... I mean food!

2006-08-12T14:31:00.000-04:00

In my blog from last week, I wrote about Maryam's babyshower. I mentioned about the baby diaper game, well here's the what the diaper looked with baby food in it. We took the typical guess what baby food game and twisted it around by putting baby food into the diaper and made everyone guess what food it was by either smelling or tasting it. MAD FUN! I dipped my pretzels into the applesauce.... YUMMY!

Diaper number five had custard in it and wobbled the most. Diaper one had sweet potato, diaper two had corn, diaper three had applesauce, diaper four was carrot. Most people got blown off with the sweet potato, coz it looked just like carrot.

Catch 22...

2006-08-11T18:58:00.000-04:00

A man who doesn't lie to his woman, has no respect for her feelings.

(T's msn screen name!)

Dislike..

2006-08-10T22:38:00.000-04:00

"It's a heavy burden to carry dislike for someone...Harms the person carrying the weight way more than the person it is directed at"

(Just read it in a blog - don't wish to quote her site for the sake of her anonymity. )

Blogword of the week 12: Space..

2006-08-09T01:37:00.000-04:00

Space is a very conceptual feeling for me. It's not just about the physical proximity, but the mental proximity as well. In the overall picture of things, even if my physical proximity is full, as long as I have my mental space to seek solace in, I'm a happy camper.

I've come to realize, I like living spontaneously and in that sp0ntaniety, I like the personalization I have on my spontaniety. It's about the spontaniety being all mine, and not some forced upon, pre-planned decision made by someone else. It's about me doing something, because I wanted to. It's about me doing something, simply because it allowed me to venture out. It's about letting myself explore and discover something new about me, about those around me or simply about life around me.

That's my space for me. Having the control to be wild. Having the proximity to discover myself without being judged by preconcieved notions. And in that moment, I love the fact that I'm married. Because I get to discover and indulge with a best friend who is crazier than I am - causing my space to expand snuggly around us - allowing us to not just enjoy our craziness, but have each other to watch and share those moments.

So what if the results aren't as expected? So what if dinner isn't ready? So what if I'm not on time? So what if it's not the way I planned it? It's about our mental space, giving us a different perspective. It's all about finding fulfillment in the simplest of pleasures - in allowing us to expect the unexpected, we enjoy the unexpected.

Being married, rebellion is no longer against parents and siblings. But against norms. In those moments when our space is cramped with the norms that others hold onto, we step back, smile (or try to) and let them live the mundane way they wanted it - and pat ourselves on the back for giving them a moment of physical control, a moment which allowed them to be happy.

For, you see, within my best friend and I, we have a shared mental space, where we are still going to be free. And it is that very same mental proximity that allows us to later step out into our own physical proximity and do all that, that which other's thought they could control us into not doing.

in short, in our mental space, we choose who to become, but in our phyiscal proximity turn out being what others want us to be - until we pull out and create a physical space thats ours=) So specifically, wildly and cozily ours.

It's all about beating conventions and fulfilling our dreams, about being able to pride ourselves in having done that, and that and ooooh, that too - without hurting the boundaries other's have erected around themselves. It's about filling our mental space with a satisfaction that'd, inshaAllah, allow me to go 'aaaah' - a happy sigh - when death befalls upon us.

Maryam's Babyshower...

2006-08-06T23:03:00.000-04:00

OK Aasi Maasi's been on me case to blog up about Mannam's baby shower yest. she's msged me 4872657 times already. So before she comes back from her bb and msgs me again, here's how it goes.

As most of you know, I threw Maryam a Baby shower at Mom's place yest. The Merchant family being sports crazy, and the baby to be a boy, the theme for the shower followed suit - Sports! =)

I had asked maryam to mail me a list of her friends and their email addresses approx 3 months ago. I also went with her and completed her baby registry with Toys r Us. I wanted to throw her a surprise shower back then, however a week before the baby shower, we were dealt with a major shock within the family and no one was in the mood to celebrate.

I sent out an e-vite to everyone three weeks ago, asking them confirm the dates for either this weekend or the next. Next weekend being muslimfest, most people asked for the shower to beheld this weekend. Alhamdolillah we had an attendance of approximately 30 people - all family and friends.

For food, I had planned to keep it completey sports stadium type food - Pretzels, hot dogs, Mexican Chili, fries, chips etc. At the last moment, Mom included cholay and bhel and we assumed cricket into the list of sports :P. As a staple, we had intended to have lasagne as well but knowing Maryam's passion for mexi food (and a miscommunication and lack of ingredients), at the last moment i switched it to Enchiladas instead. I made Chili on friday afternoon and made the enchilada sauce on fri evening just so there was minimal work on sat. On sat itself, the only thing i made were the meat rolls for enchiladas. Mom made her famous brownies and tried out this new recipe i found for Tiramisu. I have to admit, tiramisu tastes thrice as nice today, as it did yest - im still licking my fingers! mmmm! For drinks we had the fizzy blueberry powerade punch and aasiya's favourite grape punch (which she refers to as the 'eid drink').

On saturday morning, Ayesha picked up zeba and came over. I was being super grumpy, along with being mad at someone, i was food and sleep deprived. I was stressed out to the max and was grilling poor Ayesha for being late. lol. Anyhow, together we raided dollarama for party decoration stuff. Them two, along with Aisha - Z's sister-, decorated the family living room. Remember the room I had mentioned that I was painting last week in time for the shower? well everyone loved the yellow colour on the walls and the room looked gorgeous with all the party decorations. Infact, even the usually ugly carpet, looked very tolerable too!

For the decorations, we nipped the baby's sports wallies and stuck them along the wall of the room to kick in the party fever up a notch. We took pictures of room at the end along with all the favors, I'll try and post them later inshaAllah. Sorry I can't put up pics of us hotties as we had sent the boys out to Playdium for the day and enjoyed a hijab free day.

For favors we had white mesh satin bags filled with rockets, gum balls and a soccer ball keychain. We had initially planned to fill the rockets, gum balls and keychain into blue baby socks and then tie them with a red ribbon, but couldnt find any small socks(can u believe that!?). While the girls took care of the decor, the printer conked out after printing the labels for the favors. THAT was torturous since the printer was also supposed to print out the sheets for two of the party games. So at the last moment, we were left to think out more baby shower games. lol, when maryam came, we just pretended everyting was under control, until ayesha asks her' can u tell us some baby shower games plz'. lol syma and i burst out laughing, trying to hint to ayesha that we're STILL pretending that its all under control.

Anyhow, after decorating the room and fixing the food, I ran up to shower and change. Ayesha, Aisha and I wore basketball jerseys on jeans. Yup! I had intended to wear Carmello anthony's jersey with jeans, but with aunties around I wasnt comfy wearing sleeveless so wore a Denver Nugget's tshirt with Kobe Bryant's Lakers #8 jersey on top. I'm not particularly crazy about the lakers but Maryam is and it was her day so just wore it for her. Plus the laker colours are nice and vibrant ...lol. My favourite colours are still the Nuggets tho. Aisha wore an Iverson's Jersey while Ayesha wore Garnett's (i think, she changed it to something else after). Maryam wore a brown hip skirt with a tight blue shirt that really emphasized the baby (belly) nicely. She was glowing mashaAllah.

anyhow, Aasiya and her mum, Laura were first to arrive. They both reallly look like sisters. Then Farah and Syma followed suit wearing soccer jerseys and lots of stories from their exchange trip to London and Italy(smack in the world cup season!:P). I put them all to work to think up some new baby games. We got together four games. First was the common diaper pin game where you can't say the word baby (and in maryam's case boobooo). If u say it, the one who catches you say it, collects your pin and at the end of the party the one with the most pins wins. The next game was hot potatoes, only with balloons. When the music stopped, the one with the balloon, had to burst it, read the message and do what the message asked you to do. I think the cutest was where Farah had to rap and Maryam had to do the Chicken dance. The third game was the funniest. We took five of eesa's diapers (clean ones ofcourse) and poured in baby food (which beenish picked up at hte last moment) into each. It was HILLARIOUS coz everyone was totally grossed out. it looked like real poop. lol. The custard was jiggling and all. It was reallly funny. Well everyone had to smell or taste in order to guess what flavour each food was. The trickiest was sweet potato and carrots coz they looked so alike. Those who have babies, know that initially when babies poop, their poop is the colour fo the food they last ate. If they ate carrots, its red, if they had peas, its green and so on. Infact, initially before eesa started solids and i was nursing, even if i had spinach, eesa's poop would be green! I digress from the story...

The fourth game that we had selected, but couldnt play because some people had to leave early and so we didnt have time coz we had to serve dinner early. The game was called pregnancy walk. Come on, we all know how funny pregnant women look while walking and believe me its PAINFUL. Anyhow, girls had to walk across the room, holdin a penny between their knees and then drop the penny into a small necked bottle. It would have been fun watching everyone do the preggie walk. lol

For prizes, i had picked out sports car, memo pads from Party Packagers. Very cute and adorable. We packed them in all star sports bags to go with the theme. Anyhow, after the games, dinner was served. After dinner, everyone went for a swim. It was nice and relaxing. I think i came out last. lol. Ayesha and Zeba shared stories of prank calls,.. zeba's stories gave us belly aches. Afterwards when everyone got out, they ate again while ayesha and i stayed in the pool with eesa and kept demanding Aasiya to feed us. lol. Ayesha had aunty's trying to marry her off despite her craziness. lol.

after maghrib prayers, we all had dessert and opened gifts. maryam handed out flowers to z's mother, z's aunts, her mother, aisha and i. I was totally shocked, sooooo wasnt expecting it. May Allah swt reward her. ameen.

then the guys returned, we all dressed up and kicked back and relaxed in the family room. zamzam shared her story of how she reverted to islam and inspired us all with her imaan. Last time it was aasiya at beenish's sleepover - she was interrogated her for 5 hours. lol. zamzam was ever sooo eloquent and helped us all renew our imaan. Someone said, while we take our faith for granted, they chose it and hold it so much more closely to themselves. soon, one by one everyone started to leave. We finally left at 2am! got home at 3, waited for fajr, talked to nayma and then slept in till 12 (i did, imran got up to take care of eeesooo). hehe!

So thats all for now folks! =) you can read up more on aasiya and maryam's blogs. With all the fun I had, I'm dying to throw more showers! Anyone due for a shower yet? (or wallpaper stripping?) :P

Disgusting..

2006-08-06T17:25:00.000-04:00

If this isnt disgusting, what is? What a mockery of religion!

http://www.dawn.com/2006/08/05/top12.htm

2006-08-03T01:21:00.000-04:00

having vented and being all vengeful and rageful in my last post, i was really upset and was feeling guilty coz i felt as though as i was backbiting. which i was. (maryam why dont u stop me anymoreeeeeeee?)

anyhow, my gem of a brother in law introduced me to a new blog and I'm just dying to share it with everyone. it belongs to the son of a family i met once 3-4 yrs ago at the islamic centre of naperville/ chicago. our meeting was short and pleasant. but the blog is just soooo touching! its about the memories of a brother about his 13 yr old sister who passed away because of cancer(i think, i havent read the entire blog yet). not only are the narrations of the memories sooo touching, the whole atmosphere in the blog is sooo amazing. esp his post from may 2005, i actually felt as tho I was there while her soul was raised.

the blog address is: http://allaboutasma.blogspot.com

The other reason why this blog is special for me is because it was fwded to my BIL by someone who is going through alot of hardship these days. please make dua'a that Allah subhana wa ta'ala eases all his pains and returns him to his family soon. Ameen

Not only has this blog made me come to peace with my unpleasantries, i sort of feel lucky that i have the ppl, mentioned in my previous blog, in my life.

Go ahead and read it everyone. Read it in peace though. its very fulfilling, you can't just scan through it. And you can't read it without leaving behind your thoughts and emotions here. Let's remind each other of the blesings we have!

Independence

2006-08-02T19:47:00.000-04:00

I was talking to someone a couple of days ago about when is a good age for marriage. She got married at 27 and has a very levelled outlook on everything and I'm really proud of her for it. We were discussing what age is a good age and somewhere in there we agreed that 18 is too pliable, 23-24 smack in the middle of discovering independence and 26/27 perfectly independent.

I don't mind compromising to make others happy. But I hate being taken advantage of.

I have so many things I want to yell out. So many things I want to say. Out of respect I have kept it zipped, but I'm thoroughly running out of patience. I feel like im standing there with arrows being shot at me from all ends. I wish I could stand up for myself at moments like these. But I can't. If i KNOW, something i'm going to say is going to hurt someone, I can't spit out those horrible and mean words. However, ppl keep going on taking advantage of it. (i would have used a four letter word that starts with a P here, but my readers are quiet sensitive abt that word!!). Generally, I'm not the pliable type but with a certain group of ppl, out of respect, i do become quiet pliable. I don't mind pleasing others. But when pleasing turns into expectation, i have alot of beef waiting to be stewed! *fumes*

I'm fuming again, so I'll sign out before I punch out someone's forehead! Thank you blogspot for letting me fume!!

Flash

2006-08-01T20:48:00.000-04:00

Flash news: According to this, the weather in Toronto is officially warmer than the weather in Karachi. How? It beats me!! but thank God the ac is finally working!

Imo0o's back! :) ofcourse, I'm back on Cloud 9 again. No I'm not the clingy type of wife but I hate living without him. I've come to the conclusion that smsing back and forth isnt as much fun as walking, talking, dining and hanging out together. As much as I miss the pre-wedding flirty fun, I love the post wedding charm even more.

Well here's another reason why im super chirpy! A kodak digicam has found itself a very hot new owner -> ME! Our old cam was the back in the day type who needed additional pieces for the mic and was only 2mega pixels. we were looking for a video camera to help record Eesa's memories but Imran's uncle (a photographer by profession) recommended against the latest DVD video cams. As luck would have it, Imran dropped our old one in Nova Scotia and bought us this shiny, sparkly, dazzly new toy ! Not only is it 6.1 mega pixels, it records videos like a vid cam! I'm in love!

I'm proud to announce that the wallpapers are officially gone from my inlaws' place and infact, the living room has been brightened up with a bright yellow coat of paint. The process of selecting a colour and making three generations agree to one colour would take up an entire entry, so i'll spare u guys the trauma. The paint colour has been vetoed again and will probably be coated with another colour, but I had to get the place ready in time for Maryam's shower this Saturday so I stood my ground firmly and went ahead and painted the entire room bright- pale yellow. (You guys would have to wait up for the more details abt maryam's shower thO!)

Oh! dare i forget to mention! the family room colour has finally been decided upon as well. the electrician has come and left, so no more ugly mismatched lamps. welcome ceiling fan with lights! the firewall bricks will be covered with a dry walll and a fresh coat of paint to give it a new lookinshaAllah. the hideous wood panels wood be painted slate grey and walls a really light grey to give the room a new and updated look - and ofcourse to match that jumbo silver tv in that room! can i re-emphasize how much i hate wallpapers? im voluntarily recruiting myself to anyone who wishes to give their wallpapers a new home in the garbage! :D

im very proud of my accomplishments at my inlaw's place. the previous owners had HORRIBLE taste. the man used to love golfing so everything is green! my mother in law's room is the next project that maryam and i are itching to tackle inshaAllah. it has horrendous green carpets with ugly great grandma style floral wallpapers - something sure to make u go dizzy! as if tht wasnt enough, our old room in the basement had a huge wall to wall mural of a golf course. it was an itch to the eye - to say the least =P The house is looking much less dated alhamdolillah. the paint has brightened up the place and makes the area look less gloomy.

on Eesa's front, he's start saying 'ehmoh' for elmo! its soooooooooooo adorable!!! he saw elmo on his diaper and rushed to show it to his Baba today! He is now also saying alot of funny random words. i'm definitely enjoying it! he's been tanning up alot, thnx to the combo of heat and swimming!

i guess thats it! it's getting dark outside, gotta pray and dip into the pool! *muahaha!* ayesh, and aasi, if u wanna share the joy, u gotta come over:D

Blessings..

2006-08-01T00:15:00.000-04:00

I think one of the greatest blessing that Allah swt has enjoined us with, is the ability to swim. Moreso, the ability to swim at night. Lately I've been swimming in the dark alot and its amazing! I know Maryam can attest to the fact that i was like a kid in a candy shop, as though i had finally discovered I can breathe. After 3 yrs of having a pool, I finally came to peace with my fear of water snakes and braved myself to swim at midnight. AND!!! All it took was a demented AC! I am proud to announce that apart from the Creepy(the water filter snake), there were no snakes! It was soooo peaceful that SubhanAllah my senses were alert even to the sensation of water against my hairline while i was floating or the feel of water between my fingertips while i stroked my hands through water.

In response

2006-07-31T12:59:00.000-04:00

I think i need to clarify a few points in response to some comments before i turn off comments on this blog.

1. the points i have mentioned have nothing to do with people's wealth etc. these are personal traits that are rampant within muslims.

2. whether people wear a hijab or not, doesnt determine their personality. what pakistanis lack is a general sense of compassion, love, honesty, integrity and charity. religion or not, its part of humanity and human nature.

3. firstly jinnah never wanted a secular nation, he wanted a nationf or muslims. secondly, if we were to accept that he wanted a secular nation, they really picked the wrong name for islamic republic of pakistan!

4. i dont have a problem with pakistan as a country. but i have a prob with the people within. as for the govt, the corruption in the govt is because of corruption in the people. even if this leader is removed, the next one would be just as bad. why? because he comes from the same people. change won't come until people bring in themselves the elements of a humanely compassionate society.

4. granted the west has horrible elements, but they're paying for it too. however theyre not pakistan, theyre not muslims, they dont have the values of an islamic nation. my whole argument is that pakistan too is now desensitized to the social diseases and is VERY acceptable of them. i am not crazy abt the west, but i love the elements that they have adopted from the east - values that east has shunned in their attempt of becoming 'modernized'! just look at the way they treat their women! as opposed to cattles, they are much more closer to being accepted as a human being than pakistanis treat their women. their male counterparts accept their individuality, thoughts and ideas are alot more respected than pakistani men do. i think apart from a mere 0.02% of women in pakistan that waited to establish their identity before marriage, the rest are struggling to mantain their identity in the homes of their husbands' parents. take the joint family system for example. what is it apart from crumbling the personality of women?

i think with that point being stated, enough said!:D

To the crazy man..

2006-07-28T02:04:00.000-04:00

To the element of whackiness in my life, i mich u! Come back soon ::XX

I know these piccys are old, but try and guess when these piccys are from! lol:P

Believe

2006-07-26T00:38:00.000-04:00

"The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible."
- Richard M. DeVos

Solitaire Showdown...

2006-07-25T23:01:00.000-04:00

I have to confess, I'm ADDICTED to the game on msn. I LLLLLOVE it!

Deflowering a wallpaper

2006-07-23T10:59:00.000-04:00

Those who know me and my sis, know that we HATE wallpapers. There was a time I used to cringe entering houses that had wallpapers. It used to give me a very claustrophobic feeling, as though the room was closing in on me (u knw the old wallpapers with heavy flowers all along). as luck would have it, my inlaws bought a house fullllllll of wallpapers. they werent as horrifying but they were still pretty much EVERYWHERE. ok maybe i understated, they were horrifying!

so three weeks ago, i told my mum in law that i want to tackle them. i loveeeee doing houseprojects like these. but my mum in law has tons on her plate and she just wanted to hire someone and get it done. However the contractors were charging atrocious sums for this so last weekend, imran and i just called and said we're coming and we're ripping them out. we tackled the family room. Alhamdolillah its GONE! and it has white primer paint on top and looks soo much brighter already.

Yesterday afternoon we tackled the kitchen and....... its primed tooooooooo! Mannam and z came over in the evening after mannams prenatal class and started the upstairs hallway. Mannam's expecting a baby in 5 weeks so she tackled some of the areas she could do sitting. Zahid, Riz, dad and imran's youngest aunt tackled the rest. Later on, we finished the kitchen and joined them upstairs. so we basically removed wallpaper and painted prime for almost 11 hours with a one hour break for dinner and 2-3 15 min breaks for drinks etc. but its funn! i love them. i wish we had taken a before picture so i could show how much better it already looks.

Here are some random tit bits of convo from last night:

Zahid: Let's turn our kitchen into a pizza
Maryam: pizza parlour sounds interesting
Zahid : not a parlour, a pizza!
Mom: zahid what's wrong with you
Imran: The prenatal classes did something to him, next he'll say do the washroom like cupcakes

***

Maryam: (about her instructor from the prenatal class) she was funny, she told the guys that the best thing to do is dangle a piece of jewellry in front of their wwomen, they'll pop the baby right out.
(only in maryam's case, i think even a Coach purse would do!:P)

***
Maryam: What kind of a name is Kahf?
Riz: I think she forgot the "sh" (as in, its supposed to be Kashif)

***
(Maryam will hate me for this one)
Imran: do prenatal classes make you weak?
Sheza: no its like a seminar, why?
Imran: Why does maryam keep telling zahid to stop coz he'll get tired or to stop if your fingers are weak?
Sheza: she's pregnant, she's excused! men are allowed to be super whipped at this time!

LOL! for special news, Imran's going to newfie and vancouver for almost two weeks. *super sniff*. I wannntt!!

Things I often wonder about...

2006-07-21T13:31:00.000-04:00

Ever since I've come back from Pakistan somethings really bother me. Here's a list:

- How do women in Pakistan seduce their husbands? Given the lack of La Senza and La vie en Rose and Victoria's Secrets, the only stuff u prolly find there are the granny underwears. How the heck does that work??

- Why do Pakistani women never have time? They have drivers (who not only drive them around, but can run small errands for them as well), gardeners, dhobis (launderers), servants for every lil thing - cooking, cleaning, babysitting, major cleaning like windows etc. They wake up, their bed is made. Their clothes are ironed. The go out, they're driven around. They come back, their food is cooked. What do these women have to do apart from looking pretty??? Yes the social life is extensive, but HOW extensive can it be?

- Why don't pakistanis cherish the fact that they live in a Muslim country? Why arent they proud of their own identity? Why do they need mcdonalds at the airport to proove to the world, we're like you? In their attempt to 'modernise' themselves, they've adopted the western dillemmas as well. My cousin told me stories abt extra marital affairs and abortions and single mothers. I was in a shock! Two of my ex classmates, s and m, are cohabitating. Right now, they are trying to figure out if they are meant for each other. If so, they will get engaged next year. I was flabberghasted when i heard this!! If my friends from here were to move back, theyd be called 'modern', but i know they wouldnt do anything liek that here, much less there!
And since when have marriages been based on sex, anyway? Whatever happened to love, trust etc?

- Why are Pakistani women on two extremes? In their attempt to liberalize themselves, theyve become cheap. One other ex classmate, z, was proudly boasting that since highschool he's had over 45 girlfriends. thats more than one per mnth. and he claims that some of his girlfriends knew that he had another girlfriends at the same time. Whatever happened to dignity? It's a social status to have a boyfriend. EEW!

- Where are the Pakistani parents while all this is happening? *knock knock*

- What are the Pakistani values based on these days? Islam or america or wait, maybe india!?

- Are Pakistani's sleeping while all this is happening? Or are they so desensitized that these things dont even bother them anymore? How come no one talks abt these issues? Or is it one of those issues that are taken within their stride under the flag of being hip and cool?

- how many clothes does an average pakistani woman get stitched in a year? I know of a cousin who gets an outfit for every wedding. all of her clothes are designer labels. and i dont mean just generations or exclusive type boutique labels, these are SERIOUS designer labels. thats hip and all, but what do u do with so many clothes? I mean, I love my clothes and enjoy showing them off every chance i get. seriously, am i missing something here? is it a big no no to wear the same thing again? Living in the west, I have to take serious efforts not to stick to brand name labels (even tho im still very label conscious) and I'm proud of it. Does it not bother ppl there that the only things they wear are brand names while poor cant afford the thread much less the entire outfit theyre wearing?

Signing out,
*~Upset

life's realization #2409

2006-07-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

No matter how bad a child is at something, we tend to applaud and encourage them. We often overlook the failure and motivate them. Sometimes we give a grin and ignore their follies. At other times we pick them up and hug and kiss them.

Why can't we be like this with adults? why hold onto the grudge for eons?

I know I forgive easily but somethings (not everything) prick at me for YEARS. How awfuL!

Puh-lice stop my car....

2006-07-18T22:41:00.000-04:00

haha! I saw this ad on msn to watch a clip about face waxing. So i put it on and saw a man getting his face waxed. Perhaps, a 20 second clip. But what followed was this! It's a must watch, soo funny. It's about drunkies that are pulled over by the cops! (It has music tho!)

Zidane Head butt game..

2006-07-14T15:54:00.000-04:00

Maryam, Zahid and Imran were talking abt this game last night. Haha! its fun! ive been playing it for the last 15 mins instead of doing an asgmt while eesa is sleeping! :P

http://addictinggames.com/zidaneheadbuttgame.html

so funny!

Blogword: Wish

2006-07-12T11:37:00.000-04:00

If wishes were airplanes,
Sheza would be flying them!

If wishes were hotels,
Sheza would be owning the Marriot.

If wishes were shopping,
Sheza would be living at Ikea.

If wishes were colours,
Sheza would be Blue and Orange.

If wishes were food,
Sheza would be having french fries.

If wishes were shapes,
Sheza would be curvy.

If wishes were countries,
Sheza would be hopping over everyone of them.

If wishes were cakes and icecreams,
Sheza would be having tiramisu.

If wishes were chocolates,
Sheza's list would start at twix

If wishes were a cell phone,
Sheza would never answer;)

If wishes were cottages,
Sheza would own one right by the beach.

If wishes were the weather,
Sheza's world would have endless raindrops pittering pattering.

If wishes were drinks,
Sheza would be having passion fruit at freshly squeezed.

If wishes were a car,
Sheza would be the school bus driver, making the traffic stop on her flashing stop sign

If wishes were wisdom,
Sheza would have recorded everything her grandfather ever said.

If wishes were love,
Sheza would want it this exact same way, over and over again.

Wishes... Achievably, unachievable. Realistically unrealistic. Mine and mine, nonetheless!

Routines...

2006-07-10T07:50:00.000-04:00

Throughout this last week, I've learnt that nothing spices up a marriage like a break in the routine does. This break has helped us reinforce the bond we both share by allowing us to explore new terrains together - in every sense of the statement! It can be easy to slip into routine and to let your marital life loose its special spark, but whats the fun in that? The very idea of letting go, driving up roads that dont even have names, relying on each other alone in wilderness and to discover sports and activites that you've never tried before, inhibit in you a new sense of challenge and excitement, not to forget togetherness.

Over the last 5 days, we've travelled over 3000 km on road and discovered places we wouldn't have other wise. We've driven into inner Quebec, following a map thats so old that we reached a dead end on what's supposed to be a highway that, according to the map, should continue for atleast another 300 kms, in a city where no one speaks english for miles and where no one had a sign of recognition of the small lil town where we were heading deep into Quebec for. But THAT, for us, is what makes travelling and discovering all the more exciting. The element of misplaced identity - our usual roles and responsibilites casted off. The element of spontaniety - having the time on our side, driving up roads we would usually never have time to divert into. The element of humble gratefulness, of simply holding onto that embrace for a tad bit longer to savour the mere blessing of being together due to the mercy of Almighty. The element of lostness, the sheer pleasure of relying on instinct to find our way around. The element of naughtiness, turning on the AC and cuddling infront of a fireplace on a warm summer afternoon to watch soccer worldcup (lol, yes only us two can have the sheer madness to even think, much less do that!!:P)

The last few days, we've had adventures that we can never forget. But these are our adventures. Adventures that no amount of writing can make anyone else even begin to come close to the excitement we've been through. These are our memories. Memories that are imprinted on our minds alone and not one recollection can be shared with the same enthusiasm that we felt while actually being there.

It's fun breaking free of monotony - of the boring old routines, being spontaneous, and letting your inner spirit run loose with no hold ups - try it and trust me you'll be glad you did!

semi vacations...

2006-07-09T22:43:00.000-04:00

Ok here's an update! We've been living out of hotels for 5 nights now and its sheer joy. BUT and a great BUT, I miss my booboo too much. We've been able to do have alot of adventures the last few days coz he's not here but it's aweful being without him.

For those who know me, they know I LOVE hotels. It's been one amazing joy ride! I havent cooked in 5 days, my bed is made, my bathroom shines every morning and best of all - I didn't scrub my hands out cleaning it!

Two days ago we found out we'd have to extend our trip till monday, at least. So Imran and I decided to move further up north to a Hilton in Mont trembleau. its a 2.5 hour ride to work every morning for imran, but its soooo worth it!

this hilton isnt a 5 star one like the one in downtown montreal, but its a pretty amazing studio suite still. I don't like the fact that it has a kitchen and dining attached with amenities for ppl who enjoy cooking (i can't believe i'm complaining!). This one is located in a lil mountain resort with lots of french people around. its amazingly romantic and cute. The streets are reminisent of france with cobble path streetways, country style stores on the side. There are whirlpools and saunas, outdoor mini golfs, luge rides (those are AWESOME), cable cars everywhere, lakes etc etc! theres a concert going on at every corner. its peaceful in a weird way - BUT I miss Eesooo! we even managed to have the entire whirpool and pool to us two, but its still more fun to be with boooobooo!

we spent yest in ottawa (i know its the other way!! had to go for work) and it was fun staying up till 3am with cousins. this morning on the way here, we rode in our car on a ferry!!! the port for it is like 15 mins from imran's cousin's place... we just rode into the ferry and it drove us across the river which saved us over 25 mins of crossing around into quebec. everything we do these days reminds us of eesoo. we see a pool we think of eesoo. we see slides, we think of eessoo. we see luge rides, we think eessooo... get the drift??

we've taken tons of piccys which ill share once i head back inshaAllah.

One thing ive definitely learnt is that one appreciates vacations alot more after having kids! the ability to just get up and go is such a novelty these days. imran has to head out to st jean de-matha again tmrw. so ill be alone in mt treambleau. im looking forward to some hiking along the river inshaAllah.

houston complaints and all... i'm loving it!!

Husband on Strike...

2006-07-06T17:38:00.000-04:00

Haha! just saw this on Dr Phil!!! A husband who's pitched a tent on the roof of their home coz the wife wants the babies in the marital bed!

http://husbandonstrike.com/

Blogword: Enough..

2006-07-06T11:41:00.001-04:00

When is enough?
Warning: its a random rambling post

Last night, despite shipment and communication delays from IBM, Imo0o & I left for Montreal. We had a good 5-6 hours worth of journey to ourselves, Eesa being at his grandma's for the duration of this semi-vacation for us.

During this journey, Imo0o and I got a chance to do alot of talking and bonding Alhamdolillah. For those of you who have kids, you know how tough it is to spare time to just sit and talk - the proper quality bonding talk! Alhamdolillah, lately we've been taking alot of time to do alot of introspection and realignment of our goals and personality.

So while waiting for Montreal to arrive, and amidst our intensive conversations, Imo randomly asked me something which, he admitted later on, had been bothering him alot.

him: 'what is love?'
me: 'huh?'. (At this point, my overactive mind started firing up rhetorical questions like 'do you think i don't love you?', 'do you not love me?' blah blah)
him: 'as a stranger, not your husband or friend, tell me, what's love? Describe the feeling'
me: well if i can use John Gray's explanation, its a feeling where you're willing to give more than you take and are not concerned about keeping score.
him: isn't that what islam tells us too? To give charity and to be nice and be polite and to go out of your way etc without keeping an account of what u do.
me: yup. because the moment you start competing on how much u did or how little the other did, ill feelings sprout.
him: i hate that competition. i dont want you to have it either. you can never do enough. it's like charity, the moment you start thinking you've given alot, you stop giving. or the moment you do more because the other person has done more, your act is zeroed (nullified) coz your intention isn't for Allah anymore.

Imo, for those of you who don't know him, is a very mild, fun loving natured person. He is known amongst his friends to be a phonecall away for anything they need and he'd do it without a complaint - often times driving 60-70kms across town past midnight just to lend a shoulder to his friend. His mum and dad are both like that too - they dont look for their own benefit in doing someone a favor, they just help, going way out of their way and its a quality im glad Imo inherited.

Ever since we got married, he's stopped being 'there' all the time with his friends but is still known to be a crunch time player when needed. I'm partly at fault for that. Sometimes I'd be like 'so and so makes such a big deal of driving an extra 5 mins to come an extra two traffic lights to help you out, why would you go 45mins or an hour out of your way for them?'. And, much to my chagrin, he'd shake it off with a scorn that spelt out 'you're obnoxious!'. I'd always assume that he doesn't give me priority and puts everyone and everything before me.

Last night, we discussed how its a flaw in our personality to actually sit back and think twice about what we get out of doing something or how much should we do. Because the moment we start accounting these things, conflicts spring. I think the best advice my mum gave me when I got married was to have no expectations from anyone but Allah. Somewhere along the last four years, I mis-applied it. But I see it so (and i mean SOOO) clearly now. If my intention is to expect my reward from Allah alone, I won't expect any favors in return from that person nor would i contemplate how good or bad the person is, or whether or not he/she is deserving of this favor because the return of my reward is not from any human, but by Allah alone.

Allah mentions in Surah Rahman(one of my fave surahs with three of my favourite ayahs) somewhere along verse 48-54(i cant remember exactly which one it is): Is there any reward for good, other than good? Notice how Allah swt doesnt say that the person I do good for, will do good in return for me. Instead, Allah swt has taken it into His account by promising me good in return for my good deeds. Infact He's eased my burdens by keeping the calculations and judging for Himself. And accepting that He is Just, I know He will justify my deeds accordingly.

How and where my return and reward comes from is with Him, all i have to do is keep on doing good deeds.

For enough is never enough.

To Summers and R&Rs....

2006-07-02T22:37:00.000-04:00

Majestic landscapes. Musical waterfalls. Rocky cliffs. Dense forests. Rolling brooks. Blue creeks. Magical scenery.

Looking forward to more such R&Rs this summer InshaAllah.

Only in Hyderabad....

2006-06-29T19:29:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtIXw3aCaJs

Haha! I can't believe I sat there waiting for an accident to happen!!! haha

Got this one from Sobia

Blogword 4: Choice

2006-06-29T10:13:00.000-04:00

"..If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise."- Robert Fritz

Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place we must find.- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Of Mercies and Wraths...

2006-06-28T00:28:00.000-04:00

Verily, My mercy predominates My wrath.

Thank you Lord for the million and one mercies I forget to thank you for each day. Sometimes I'm so busy looking at everything that's going wrong, I forget to thank you for the good that lies behind what I assume to be bad for me.

I'm reminded of a hymn we used to recite at Marymount. This is actually a poem someone wrote that is often used as a hymn - we used to recite them on special Mass meetings. The melody and words are infinitely profound and hold a very, very deep meaning for me.

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful:
The Lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colors,
He made their tiny wings.

The rich man in his castle,
The poor man at his gate,
He made them, high or lowly,
And ordered their estate.

The purple headed mountains,
The river running by,
The sunset and the morning
That brightens up the sky.

The cold wind in the winter,
The pleasant summer sun,
The ripe fruits in the garden,
He made them every one.

The tall trees in the greenwood,
The meadows where we play,
The rushes by the water,
To gather every day.

He gave us eyes to see them,
And lips that we might tell
How great is God Almighty,
Who has made all things well.

Today, when despair and defeat was at its peak, Ya Rabbi, I thank you for every other little blessing you've bestowed me with and pray that you grant me the wisdom and strength to look beyond the hardship and praise you even when everything seems at its worst. Thank you My Lord, for blessing my life with your mercies and I pray that you ease the test for those who're suffering hardship and increase their patience. Ameen

With love,
*~Your aspiring, humble servant

Two..

2006-06-21T23:53:00.000-04:00

It's exam time. I shouldnt be doing this. But i dont want to miss out on another Wednesday Wandering (altho its friday now) and I missed out last week - I had a great one in mind for that btw!

Here's to the little one with ten sticky lil fingers and a chocolate covered smile that's changed us from two to now three. Here's to the little one who's persistently charmed us, like the relentless drip, drip, drip of water on the protective shells of our hearts. You came and created havoc with our hard won equilibrium, turning our life into a mesmerizing chaos - where on one hand we hate the cookie crumbs and sticky finger marks on our mirrors, windows and tv/monitor screens, on the other we can't spend an evening alone without thinking of you.

Here's to the lil penguin that plays 'take me to the kaba' all day long while running around all over the house, collecting, and dropping, toys on the way. Here's to the lil stork dropping that turns a gloomy day into a bright sunshine. Here's to the lil duckies floating in our bathtub - and our bathroom floor - many thanks to you. Here's to the lil one who insists on red sandals and orange socks on a grey footbal outfit. Here's to the booboo. Here's to the Eeses Pieces. Here's to Eesi. Here's to the little one that fights his best to not to get into the car seat and wants to rush to the steering wheel instead. Here's to the lil one that loves to giggle and pretend he's flying while running in the park. Here's to the lil one who hugs little leap to sleep at night. Here's to the lil one who made prayers with lil leap last night. Here's to the little one who climbs all over me and then, frustratingly, pats my head early in the morning to wake me up. Here's to the little one who pampers me with endless kisses. Here's to the lil one who has captured everyones heart within such a short time. Here's to the little one that is the centre of all our attention.

Here's to Eesa! Daddy's Eeses Pieces.

Parenting wise, I've always been a stern believer of holding a fort of two and an army of three. The kids will grow up and set up their own lives by the time they're 18-20 (if not, ill have to kick them out!), what would remain is us two and us two I shall work on first. But believe me you, its hard. It's hard to take time away from this sweet lil peanut butter cup - as Imran's phoppi says, u can have cupfulls of him with no concern abt calories or diabetes! Despite all the time we sneak away from him to have lil dates, we think abt him endlessly. As much as I moan and groan that I miss us being two, I definitely enjoy us being three more.

Eemaan - faith

2006-06-15T03:07:00.000-04:00

"I have yet to shed the slavery of the human mind - reveling in its logic and intellect - often forgetting how limited it, in fact, is compared with the wisdom that is perhaps available to us in direct proportion to the strength of our emaan."

Khadeeja Balkhi

Home alone..

2006-06-12T23:35:00.000-04:00

Imo0o left for Montreal last night. It's a weird, hollow feeling. I'm staying at our place with Eesa and it feels .. lonely. Imo did it for three months while Eesie and I were in pak/india, God only knows how he did it. It's crazy. His flight hadn't left and we'd already exchanged 200 txt msgs - and then we realized that we should just talk instead considering I have unlimited minutes and he has weekends free. But then we resorted back to txting... its more fun!

We spent the weekend at his parents place and sneaked in plenty of dates at random hours of the day and..err.. night! My fave was the one yest afternoon (just hours before his flight) with tiramisu and mocha icecream on waffles at a nice bistro/icecream inn while eesa was at his grandparents place. Here's a convo from this date:

Sheza: *holding her tummy* Let's go home, I need to pee
Imran: Let's get the bill first
Sheza: What an oxymoronic date... here I am discussing my bladder issues! I'm definitely impressing you there!
Imran: Shez, we've been married for almost four years!
Shez: Whooaa! Hang on there! You might be that old, I'm not! *grins*
Imran: *gives me the serious look* Seriously, it'd be four years in december!
Shez: *shocked* wooow! you're right! and oh my God! we have a two year old son!!
Imran: *laughing* Yup! time flies!
Shez: Oh my God! We'd celebrate our ten yr anniversary even before we hit the big 30!

*double grins for that one!*

I dont know why but I'm feeling scared of the big 30 already and I still have eons to go before I actually hit it!

Anyway, Imo left last night right after his uncle arrived from Sweden. He's got three daughters and he's the only uncle I hadnt met in the family. Knowing the Gaya (..and Merchant!!) family, I forecast three VERY interesting weeks ahead.

I finally met up with Sadia on Sat eve. We had a 2 hour long poolside discussion at my in-laws on everything. From pre-marital prep talk to sofas (microfibre vs leather) to towels to clothes to vacations.. it was nice and refresshing. She's leaving to get married in pak in 16 days! and then she's moving to new york! Ah... good riddance to bad rubbish! LOL! just kidding! I can just picture her giving me THE glare! I'll miss u, u dork!

Here's my dillemma from the weekend. I had an asgmt that was due today. I had done it and misplaced it somewhere at my inlaws. In between transferring files and cleaning up Rizzi's computer, I deleted the file. So i had no hard or soft copy. I stayed up last night to do it again. And then guess what!!! This morning I was packing up eesa's diaper bag to go to maryam's place and found it there!! I must have kept it in there on the way back from my inlaws place last weekend! But dayam! I must have chked in there atleast thrice! And then to top it off, M called this mornign to say she's dropped out of the program so KC and i had to catch up with her part of the asgmt!!

I'm regretting not having gone to mtl with him. I'm really crazy abt staying at hotels and boy do i love flying and airplanes. Imz usually drives slow on the highway when we're crossing the airport on the 401 just so i could watch a plane go by. And right now he's staying at hilton hotel... ah! airplanes EVERYWHERE!!!

Erm yea, so now the next highlight of my life during imo's absence is our girls get together on wed morn with Maryam and Atikah. and then Imo's return in the evening on wed. Ideas for a warm welcome anyone? ;)

Emptiness

2006-06-11T15:58:00.000-04:00

Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively.You either have no goal that is important enough to you,or you are not using your talents and efforts to strivetoward an important goal.--Maxwell Maltz

I got this quote from a home organization magazine I've subscribed to. I thought its a quote worth sharing!

Together..

2006-06-08T09:18:00.000-04:00

Sara sent out the blogword today. It's together.

Security. Comfort. Fun. Memories.

None of the above. The word tangos on raw nerves.

My sense of security has been shattered. Fear has walked in. Comfort zone has been invaded. Building brutal memories while reliving older times.

Friends and family are hurt. The media is callous. The muslim leaders are fame thirsty. Speaking on microphones without remembering they too shall return. Backbiting. Mercilessly. Endlessly.

They ask for unity. The people are anything but! Sadly, we're NOT together. The community's sense of security, albeit false, has fizzled out. Everything is meaningless. But everything has to go on.

Hope and prayers are all we have. Hanging on tight for: 'the Believers are not tested but by His leave'.

May Allah swt ease the burdens of this ummah. Ameen

I feel like...

2006-06-02T22:50:00.000-04:00

- having pina coladas and pakola; tim horton's iced cap and butter sesame bagel!

- enjoying our patcony (patio + balcony). its a HUGE balcony. we have a snack there everyday right after imo comes home. but we had an early dinner with mannam and z there today. it was RELAXING. afterwards imz n i went down to the newly discovered basketball net to shoot some hoops. OMG its amazing! i felt soooooo goooooooood. its all covered and u can lock it so i could wear shorts and play without any worries. ah!

- hugging me momma! missing her like cwazzy. esp after she calls!

- swimming! woohoo @ mom and dad's pool officially being open for this season!

- getting a pedicure... again! *nudge* @ mannam!

- making mannam's jaw drop. did it once today and it was a sight worth seeing!:P

- swiffering...EVERYWHERE! im in LOVE! cleaning is a whiz with that thang! but boy does it guzzle up batteries!

- spring cleaning! ok this spring.. its been crazy! i've been at it after 3 yrs! ive spray painted everything imaginable silver/grey! ive block printed the blinds in my room, colour coordinated the hangers in our closet, coerced imo to put up more shelves in our closet and throughly maximized the space there, put baskets in every space imaginable, organized under my bathroom cabinet (ive put orange and green boxes there too!). I can officially say i have orange in every room, except the office and master bedroom- which are both blue:P! all i need is wallflowers and mats for the bathroom!

- reading! i picked up 4 MUST reads from the lib and they're still sitting there! and guess what! i still havent done my homework and monday is around the corner! ah! and this was due LAST week! *psst!* bless those extensions and ttc strikes:D

Feeling Alive..

2006-06-01T10:20:00.000-04:00

"Don't ask what the world needs.
Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."Howard Thurman

Mariam Hussain sent out this quote and i thought id share it with everyone here. I also found this really cute article on feeling like a kid all over again in my P&G subscription.

Here goes:

Follow our prescription for a little play therapy:

1. Buy a hula hoop
Go ahead, embarrass your kids. Ask for a pogo stick, hula hoop, or Chinese jump rope for your next birthday. Want a more practical reason? It's great exercise.

2. Bang that drum
Have you always wanted to play the drums, craft a clay pot, write poetry, or paint landscapes, but never found the time to learn? You're never too old to begin. (Remember Grandma Moses didn't start painting until her senior years.)

3. Red Rover, Red Rover, invite your friends over
When your kids complain that "there's nothing to do," or you're doing the complaining, relive your youth. Playing Red Rover, Freeze Tag, and Ghost in the Graveyard will get you started.

4. Dance the age away
Ballroom dancing (or belly dancing) anyone? Try taking formal dance classes, or just turn on some loud music and jump around your living room.

5. Be a team player (and not at the office)
You're an expert at driving the kids to soccer and basketball games. Maybe it's time to join a team of your own. Adult teams are usually less competitive than kids' teams, more fun, and great exercise.

6. Where the kids are
Who says waterparks are for kids? For an entire day of fun, gather your adult friends and head to the nearest amusement park, zoo, game room, or waterpark. Don't feel guilty. You can return with the kids another time.

Voices..

2006-05-31T00:30:00.000-04:00

That newly articulated word, repeated over and over.
The gleeful giggle, that makes my day.
The whimpering coo, made in pain.
The cheerful *MAMA!*, down the grocery aisle.
The wistful sigh at the doctors office.
The agonizing cries, made to demand.
The ecstatic, perky rain of incoherent ramblings
That hearty laughter after a funny sound
That dreamy early morning murmur.

The loud thunderous voice of my life... my lil Eeso0o!
(reposted at:http://eesababy.blogspot.com/2006/05/voices.html )!

Summer's here!

2006-05-30T23:02:00.000-04:00

In go the boots, out come the heels and flipflops!

Life is Yummy Good

Open minded..

3 days left..

Coming back home..

Life..

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas!

It's a boy!

It takes time...

oops!

Update

Ikea Job Interview...

Aasi's shower!

Could this really be a miracle?

Off-guard..

Last Breath..

Out of the ordinary..

Realization # 2387673

The mother of all miracles...

I think I'm not well...

Update..

Ashwariya and loreal??

Weirdo!

When compatibility speaks..

Answered prayers...

Flying and more..

Got Sisterhood?

YM Eid party...

Life's lesson #45769865

Naymee... I miss you already...

Colours..

NJ update...

In New Jersey...

Wednesday wanderings thought 3: Because, somehow, it all clicks...

Moonsighting...

Eidun Saeed...

Hurricane aunty...

A Race Against Time...

She's here...

It's confirmed...

A sometimes sobia realization....

Fall...

On organizing...

Technology...

Getting it all together...

I heart Al falah

Ramadan Kareem

Fools!

Tagged..

Zen Living

It's only words...

Cosby

Patience is a virtue indeed....

May you rest in Peace...Ameen

Update..

I'm a chaaachiii!

I'm gonna be Chaachi-o-fied inshaAllah!

Pampering...

Blogword of the week: End

Happy 100th!

SJ!

Organizing..

Sheer Joy...

Baby poop...er... I mean food!

Catch 22...

Dislike..

Blogword of the week 12: Space..

Maryam's Babyshower...

Disgusting..

Independence

*Flash*

Blessings..

In response

To the crazy man..

Believe

Solitaire Showdown...

Deflowering a wallpaper

Things I often wonder about...

life's realization #2409

Puh-lice stop my car....

Flash