Getting it all together...

It's about putting the lows with the highs.

The last few weeks have seen an intense emotional flux, moments of introspections, reflections and acute realizations. Nothing dramatically depressing or joyful, but enough "drama" to bring about an overwhelming sense of self actualization and of gratitude. Gratitude for all that Allah swt has blessed me with and a whole lot more that He has saved me from.


Nothing shames me more into gratitude towards Allah swt that the mere fact that I was born a muslim. (the feminist in me wishes to emphasize 'muslim female', at this point). Despite the many gut wrenching, emotional events of the last few weeks, Alhamdolillah i feel quite content and tranquil. And sometimes having that feeling of inner peace and the tranquility of being content is way more satisfying than having short moments of hapiness.

This Ramadan has been the first ramadan in the last 3 yrs that I'm really enjoying. I've felt that the last three ramadans came and went by without me extracting enough from it. Despite the constant reminders of Sa'ad's absence, Imo's frequent travel, friends needing emotional support and a few other hiccups here and there, this Ramadan seems to be converging the down days with high days. Alhamdolillah, the balance of high days is like an emerging Prius within me - my very own internal hybrid of contentment. =)

I've been all over in this post. Perhaps a representation of the inner need to pay gratitude to the many forms of blessings i've been surrounded with or perhaps its simply the inability of words to reflect the Prius of my mind. Praise be to Allah swt.