Life..
Warning: it's going to be one of those random vent/nostalgic therapy sessions for my sake.
-=-=-
It just struck to me that I've been married(God! i hate the word!!) for four yrs!! MashaAllah.
Double whopper for the fact that I'm a mommy! subhanAllah.
rewind perhaps 3 yrs ago, you'd be my worst enemey for excusing my paunch across the belly as pregnancy.
Rewind perhaps 4.5 years and i'd slap you for even thinking abt getting me hitched!
As cliche as it sounds... life's a pandora box of surprises.
I'm married and I'm a mom. I repeat. I'm married and I'm a mom mashaAllah. whoa!!
Sometimes while walking around college I wonder if people can actually tell that I have a baby or if i look like one of the many?
It's 2:33 am. my lil tazmanian monkey decided to wake up and had a spur of the moment desire to watch 'ice age'. what!? i went to bed only half an hour ago!! why did no one tell me this is part of the package of being a mama? lol j/k. but seriously speaking, sometimes i wish i knew what to do. i wanna observe more parents with kids so i can tell what works and what doesnt. goals for 2007!
i love the excitement this lil one brings my way. alhamdolillah. it's unbelievable how fast hes grown mashaAllah. it seems like yest when i showed maryam my pee stick and stood in the washroom crying not knowing what to do, sneaking out to the docs with maryam, endless gynae trips slash shopping sessions. and then yea morning sickness', endless sleepiness bouts. deciding to quit my job. trying to find a female gynae. talking to the tummy. endless pokes and kicks. wanting, infact, craving to bend forward. the nesting phase with endless re-arrangements of furniture. reading endless websites trying to figure out what to do. staring at the ultrasound pix endlessly. maryam thinking she can see something so it's a boy. hehe. oh the blubber around me! all 50 lbs of it! crying on maryam's mehndi day coz i looked like a duck regardless of what i wore! in denial to the point of not wanting to wear maternity clothes. getting SICK of pregnancy clothes. watching the belly pop out from under t-shirts etc. innie to outtie. the baby shower... where everyone was out of town. oh the drama it entailed. the penguin - pregnant woman - walk. getting sick of yellow and green baby clothes. getting disgusted by yellow and green baby clothes. finally packing a suitcase for the hosp. unpacking and packing it daily. waiting patiently for the 40 week mark. watching the 10th of oct go by. one day. two days. four days. five! The last few nights of pregnancy. my vow to walk until he popped out - ((hey it worked! it had me contracting the next morning!! )). not knowing the difference between a backache and a contraction. *doh*. Imran's excitement upon finally being close to being able to hug the baby. philly cheese steak from somethin' to talk about. going to the hosp. not yet. walking up and down eglinton ave waiting for the moment to happen. finally being admitted. epidural - God bless the guy who invented it!. sleep. getting a fever from the epidural, imran catching it! the doc sneaking in warm blankets for both of us. finally having him. wanting to see him alive. hearing him cough. falling in love with an intensity that i couldnt fathom. wanting 10 of him! not believing he's mine! watching time pick up speed. it's been not one, but two yrs alhamdolillah. he not only turned over, sat, crawled and walked. he's mashaAllah running and jumping with both feet up in the air too! he's making snowballs and airing them out too. i can't shop in the infant's section anymore. he's a toddler - mashaAllah!
where has time flown to?
-=-=-
It just struck to me that I've been married(God! i hate the word!!) for four yrs!! MashaAllah.
Double whopper for the fact that I'm a mommy! subhanAllah.
rewind perhaps 3 yrs ago, you'd be my worst enemey for excusing my paunch across the belly as pregnancy.
Rewind perhaps 4.5 years and i'd slap you for even thinking abt getting me hitched!
As cliche as it sounds... life's a pandora box of surprises.
I'm married and I'm a mom. I repeat. I'm married and I'm a mom mashaAllah. whoa!!
Sometimes while walking around college I wonder if people can actually tell that I have a baby or if i look like one of the many?
It's 2:33 am. my lil tazmanian monkey decided to wake up and had a spur of the moment desire to watch 'ice age'. what!? i went to bed only half an hour ago!! why did no one tell me this is part of the package of being a mama? lol j/k. but seriously speaking, sometimes i wish i knew what to do. i wanna observe more parents with kids so i can tell what works and what doesnt. goals for 2007!
i love the excitement this lil one brings my way. alhamdolillah. it's unbelievable how fast hes grown mashaAllah. it seems like yest when i showed maryam my pee stick and stood in the washroom crying not knowing what to do, sneaking out to the docs with maryam, endless gynae trips slash shopping sessions. and then yea morning sickness', endless sleepiness bouts. deciding to quit my job. trying to find a female gynae. talking to the tummy. endless pokes and kicks. wanting, infact, craving to bend forward. the nesting phase with endless re-arrangements of furniture. reading endless websites trying to figure out what to do. staring at the ultrasound pix endlessly. maryam thinking she can see something so it's a boy. hehe. oh the blubber around me! all 50 lbs of it! crying on maryam's mehndi day coz i looked like a duck regardless of what i wore! in denial to the point of not wanting to wear maternity clothes. getting SICK of pregnancy clothes. watching the belly pop out from under t-shirts etc. innie to outtie. the baby shower... where everyone was out of town. oh the drama it entailed. the penguin - pregnant woman - walk. getting sick of yellow and green baby clothes. getting disgusted by yellow and green baby clothes. finally packing a suitcase for the hosp. unpacking and packing it daily. waiting patiently for the 40 week mark. watching the 10th of oct go by. one day. two days. four days. five! The last few nights of pregnancy. my vow to walk until he popped out - ((hey it worked! it had me contracting the next morning!! )). not knowing the difference between a backache and a contraction. *doh*. Imran's excitement upon finally being close to being able to hug the baby. philly cheese steak from somethin' to talk about. going to the hosp. not yet. walking up and down eglinton ave waiting for the moment to happen. finally being admitted. epidural - God bless the guy who invented it!. sleep. getting a fever from the epidural, imran catching it! the doc sneaking in warm blankets for both of us. finally having him. wanting to see him alive. hearing him cough. falling in love with an intensity that i couldnt fathom. wanting 10 of him! not believing he's mine! watching time pick up speed. it's been not one, but two yrs alhamdolillah. he not only turned over, sat, crawled and walked. he's mashaAllah running and jumping with both feet up in the air too! he's making snowballs and airing them out too. i can't shop in the infant's section anymore. he's a toddler - mashaAllah!
where has time flown to?
posted by Shezalldat @ 2:26 AM
9 Comments:
At 12:18 PM,
shabyna said…
lolz.. by the way... marraige and baby are good words alhamdulillaah... mashaa Allaah!
At 12:29 PM,
Shezalldat said…
baby i like! but married gives a very negative connotation. it implies a form of sacrifice when infact it really isnt. if you dont believe me, just watch the difference in reaction if u say you're married and if you say you're cohabitating!:P cohabitating implies you're who u are just living with hubby. married means you're a new, evolved you, for the sake of your hubby. do i make sense?
At 2:04 PM,
Umm Belaal said…
aah...i remember those days.
i have no problem with the term marriage/married. i believe it's perspective...if your perspective of marriage is sacrifice/etc then you see it that way. i see marriage as spending your life with your best friend and growing together and being able to share every single moment/experience of your life with someone who won't judge you and loves you unconditionally. and yes marriage does encompass sacrifices...but they can be good too. and every bit of sacrifice you make ultimately increases your love for one another.
At 3:26 PM,
Shezalldat said…
maryam, i know what you're saying but again it's a mtter of the implication of the word. the "marriage" you're implying is what we choose today. the word marriage in essence, esp in the desi culture, is def not what you're saying.
my interpretation of marriage and cohabitation is perhaps the similitude of the difference between sacrifice and choice. every sacrifice has a choice. where some may say you sacrificed your job and life to be married. but i would say you chose z over cali. it's a matter of perspective. sacrifice has that negative connotation so i dont like that word in this context.
to me marriage is the title given to the typical indian movie union. where the groom is the king and wife, is the latest extremely pliant, head bobbing member (*cough* servant) of the household - as jahandar aunty calls it: meena(is that how u spell it?) kumari who serves while the family eats.
it's definitely a matter of perspective. i choose not to live in a typical union and hence marriage is too typical and mundane a title for it. it takes out the exclusivity.
At 3:54 PM,
Umm Belaal said…
i like to think the way we define marriage, is the proper definition of marriage. its the desi's who've botched the concept, not us! ;)
At 1:48 AM,
@}--}-- *Ayesha* --{--{@ said…
i agree with you both, marriage has a negative connotation to it, but subhanAllah it is the most pure of relationships and it is wallahi a beautiful blessing from Allah, and in a good marriage, an Islamic Marriage, in the way Allah meant it to be, everyone is better for it, but in the desi form / oppression form, it is not a good relationship and instead of good, it spews forth evil, when a man doesnt fulfill his duties, the woman is not happy and she cannot fulfill hers, (and vice versa) so therefore the child suffers and then the psychos of this world are created.
anyways..thats my two cents :P
i loved that post sheza, since i couldnt be there with you during your pregnancy (I didnt know you), it was really nice living it now :D
i love you sheza, and mashAllah you make a wonderful mother, and a wonderful wife and you have a wonderful husband (from what u tell me), and im sure no one can tell your a mom!!
At 8:16 AM,
Bee Amma said…
awwww, love reading your posts. I can't wait to get married and have littleuns! For now, i have to smother my little cousins!! tee hee!!
Noticed you mentioned "something to talk about" I just came back from toronto and was staying at the residence college hotel like a stones throw away!!! Something to talk about is so hidden, it took me a week to realise it was there and halal! Aren't the people that run the place lovely :) I didnt manage to have a Philly cheese steak tho :(
At 11:32 AM,
Unknown said…
update woman!
At 7:35 AM,
bakpakchik said…
man ... one of the best posts I have read all week :)
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