BN has passed away :(

A lonely figure.

Always clad in white. Silent.

BN was someone we always visited when we went to pak. Being a child, i never really interacted with her much. Years ago, i used to see her in her room, watching some paki drama or the other. Over the years she became ill and soon became deaf. Silenced from the world. Unable to read or write, she became a walking piece of meat - seen but not heard! Devalued. Unable to do anything anymore, she spent most of the last ten years lying on her bed sky gazing. silently awaiting her death.

Widowed at the age of 18 in 1948 after a few months of marriage, childless, doomed by the fate of her culture which enforced the 'muslim satiya' on her. Clad in white, robbed off from the rights to wear jewellry or make up, not really considered eligible enough to remarry.

Culture. Unbearable.

Sometimes, I wish i could go back in time and talk to her. Give her company. Hear her. I feel guilty. I feel as though i was a part of this. A criminal to inhumane treatment. I wish to retrace my childhood, only being closer to the people i ignored or did not value enough. Not to say i did not respect her, but i dont think i valued her either. I wish I had given her more time. I wish I had spoken to her more - heard her atleast.

I wish.. I wish