Blogword of the week 12: Space..

Space is a very conceptual feeling for me. It's not just about the physical proximity, but the mental proximity as well. In the overall picture of things, even if my physical proximity is full, as long as I have my mental space to seek solace in, I'm a happy camper.

I've come to realize, I like living spontaneously and in that sp0ntaniety, I like the personalization I have on my spontaniety. It's about the spontaniety being all mine, and not some forced upon, pre-planned decision made by someone else. It's about me doing something, because I wanted to. It's about me doing something, simply because it allowed me to venture out. It's about letting myself explore and discover something new about me, about those around me or simply about life around me.

That's my space for me. Having the control to be wild. Having the proximity to discover myself without being judged by preconcieved notions. And in that moment, I love the fact that I'm married. Because I get to discover and indulge with a best friend who is crazier than I am - causing my space to expand snuggly around us - allowing us to not just enjoy our craziness, but have each other to watch and share those moments.

So what if the results aren't as expected? So what if dinner isn't ready? So what if I'm not on time? So what if it's not the way I planned it? It's about our mental space, giving us a different perspective. It's all about finding fulfillment in the simplest of pleasures - in allowing us to expect the unexpected, we enjoy the unexpected.

Being married, rebellion is no longer against parents and siblings. But against norms. In those moments when our space is cramped with the norms that others hold onto, we step back, smile (or try to) and let them live the mundane way they wanted it - and pat ourselves on the back for giving them a moment of physical control, a moment which allowed them to be happy.

For, you see, within my best friend and I, we have a shared mental space, where we are still going to be free. And it is that very same mental proximity that allows us to later step out into our own physical proximity and do all that, that which other's thought they could control us into not doing.

in short, in our mental space, we choose who to become, but in our phyiscal proximity turn out being what others want us to be - until we pull out and create a physical space thats ours=) So specifically, wildly and cozily ours.

It's all about beating conventions and fulfilling our dreams, about being able to pride ourselves in having done that, and that and ooooh, that too - without hurting the boundaries other's have erected around themselves. It's about filling our mental space with a satisfaction that'd, inshaAllah, allow me to go 'aaaah' - a happy sigh - when death befalls upon us.