In response

I think i need to clarify a few points in response to some comments before i turn off comments on this blog.

1. the points i have mentioned have nothing to do with people's wealth etc. these are personal traits that are rampant within muslims.

2. whether people wear a hijab or not, doesnt determine their personality. what pakistanis lack is a general sense of compassion, love, honesty, integrity and charity. religion or not, its part of humanity and human nature.

3. firstly jinnah never wanted a secular nation, he wanted a nationf or muslims. secondly, if we were to accept that he wanted a secular nation, they really picked the wrong name for islamic republic of pakistan!

4. i dont have a problem with pakistan as a country. but i have a prob with the people within. as for the govt, the corruption in the govt is because of corruption in the people. even if this leader is removed, the next one would be just as bad. why? because he comes from the same people. change won't come until people bring in themselves the elements of a humanely compassionate society.

4. granted the west has horrible elements, but they're paying for it too. however theyre not pakistan, theyre not muslims, they dont have the values of an islamic nation. my whole argument is that pakistan too is now desensitized to the social diseases and is VERY acceptable of them. i am not crazy abt the west, but i love the elements that they have adopted from the east - values that east has shunned in their attempt of becoming 'modernized'! just look at the way they treat their women! as opposed to cattles, they are much more closer to being accepted as a human being than pakistanis treat their women. their male counterparts accept their individuality, thoughts and ideas are alot more respected than pakistani men do. i think apart from a mere 0.02% of women in pakistan that waited to establish their identity before marriage, the rest are struggling to mantain their identity in the homes of their husbands' parents. take the joint family system for example. what is it apart from crumbling the personality of women?

i think with that point being stated, enough said!:D

To the crazy man..

To the element of whackiness in my life, i mich u! Come back soon ::XX

I know these piccys are old, but try and guess when these piccys are from! lol:P

Believe

"The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible."
- Richard M. DeVos

Solitaire Showdown...

I have to confess, I'm ADDICTED to the game on msn. I LLLLLOVE it!

Deflowering a wallpaper

Those who know me and my sis, know that we HATE wallpapers. There was a time I used to cringe entering houses that had wallpapers. It used to give me a very claustrophobic feeling, as though the room was closing in on me (u knw the old wallpapers with heavy flowers all along). as luck would have it, my inlaws bought a house fullllllll of wallpapers. they werent as horrifying but they were still pretty much EVERYWHERE. ok maybe i understated, they were horrifying!

so three weeks ago, i told my mum in law that i want to tackle them. i loveeeee doing houseprojects like these. but my mum in law has tons on her plate and she just wanted to hire someone and get it done. However the contractors were charging atrocious sums for this so last weekend, imran and i just called and said we're coming and we're ripping them out. we tackled the family room. Alhamdolillah its GONE! and it has white primer paint on top and looks soo much brighter already.

Yesterday afternoon we tackled the kitchen and....... its primed tooooooooo! Mannam and z came over in the evening after mannams prenatal class and started the upstairs hallway. Mannam's expecting a baby in 5 weeks so she tackled some of the areas she could do sitting. Zahid, Riz, dad and imran's youngest aunt tackled the rest. Later on, we finished the kitchen and joined them upstairs. so we basically removed wallpaper and painted prime for almost 11 hours with a one hour break for dinner and 2-3 15 min breaks for drinks etc. but its funn! i love them. i wish we had taken a before picture so i could show how much better it already looks.

Here are some random tit bits of convo from last night:

Zahid: Let's turn our kitchen into a pizza
Maryam: pizza parlour sounds interesting
Zahid : not a parlour, a pizza!
Mom: zahid what's wrong with you
Imran: The prenatal classes did something to him, next he'll say do the washroom like cupcakes

***

Maryam: (about her instructor from the prenatal class) she was funny, she told the guys that the best thing to do is dangle a piece of jewellry in front of their wwomen, they'll pop the baby right out.
(only in maryam's case, i think even a Coach purse would do!:P)

***
Maryam: What kind of a name is Kahf?
Riz: I think she forgot the "sh" (as in, its supposed to be Kashif)

***
(Maryam will hate me for this one)
Imran: do prenatal classes make you weak?
Sheza: no its like a seminar, why?
Imran: Why does maryam keep telling zahid to stop coz he'll get tired or to stop if your fingers are weak?
Sheza: she's pregnant, she's excused! men are allowed to be super whipped at this time!

LOL! for special news, Imran's going to newfie and vancouver for almost two weeks. *super sniff*. I wannntt!!

Things I often wonder about...

Ever since I've come back from Pakistan somethings really bother me. Here's a list:

- How do women in Pakistan seduce their husbands? Given the lack of La Senza and La vie en Rose and Victoria's Secrets, the only stuff u prolly find there are the granny underwears. How the heck does that work??

- Why do Pakistani women never have time? They have drivers (who not only drive them around, but can run small errands for them as well), gardeners, dhobis (launderers), servants for every lil thing - cooking, cleaning, babysitting, major cleaning like windows etc. They wake up, their bed is made. Their clothes are ironed. The go out, they're driven around. They come back, their food is cooked. What do these women have to do apart from looking pretty??? Yes the social life is extensive, but HOW extensive can it be?

- Why don't pakistanis cherish the fact that they live in a Muslim country? Why arent they proud of their own identity? Why do they need mcdonalds at the airport to proove to the world, we're like you? In their attempt to 'modernise' themselves, they've adopted the western dillemmas as well. My cousin told me stories abt extra marital affairs and abortions and single mothers. I was in a shock! Two of my ex classmates, s and m, are cohabitating. Right now, they are trying to figure out if they are meant for each other. If so, they will get engaged next year. I was flabberghasted when i heard this!! If my friends from here were to move back, theyd be called 'modern', but i know they wouldnt do anything liek that here, much less there!
And since when have marriages been based on sex, anyway? Whatever happened to love, trust etc?

- Why are Pakistani women on two extremes? In their attempt to liberalize themselves, theyve become cheap. One other ex classmate, z, was proudly boasting that since highschool he's had over 45 girlfriends. thats more than one per mnth. and he claims that some of his girlfriends knew that he had another girlfriends at the same time. Whatever happened to dignity? It's a social status to have a boyfriend. EEW!

- Where are the Pakistani parents while all this is happening? *knock knock*

- What are the Pakistani values based on these days? Islam or america or wait, maybe india!?

- Are Pakistani's sleeping while all this is happening? Or are they so desensitized that these things dont even bother them anymore? How come no one talks abt these issues? Or is it one of those issues that are taken within their stride under the flag of being hip and cool?

- how many clothes does an average pakistani woman get stitched in a year? I know of a cousin who gets an outfit for every wedding. all of her clothes are designer labels. and i dont mean just generations or exclusive type boutique labels, these are SERIOUS designer labels. thats hip and all, but what do u do with so many clothes? I mean, I love my clothes and enjoy showing them off every chance i get. seriously, am i missing something here? is it a big no no to wear the same thing again? Living in the west, I have to take serious efforts not to stick to brand name labels (even tho im still very label conscious) and I'm proud of it. Does it not bother ppl there that the only things they wear are brand names while poor cant afford the thread much less the entire outfit theyre wearing?

Signing out,
*~Upset

life's realization #2409

No matter how bad a child is at something, we tend to applaud and encourage them. We often overlook the failure and motivate them. Sometimes we give a grin and ignore their follies. At other times we pick them up and hug and kiss them.

Why can't we be like this with adults? why hold onto the grudge for eons?

I know I forgive easily but somethings (not everything) prick at me for YEARS. How awfuL!

Puh-lice stop my car....

haha! I saw this ad on msn to watch a clip about face waxing. So i put it on and saw a man getting his face waxed. Perhaps, a 20 second clip. But what followed was this! It's a must watch, soo funny. It's about drunkies that are pulled over by the cops! (It has music tho!)

Zidane Head butt game..

Maryam, Zahid and Imran were talking abt this game last night. Haha! its fun! ive been playing it for the last 15 mins instead of doing an asgmt while eesa is sleeping! :P

http://addictinggames.com/zidaneheadbuttgame.html

so funny!

Blogword: Wish

If wishes were airplanes,
Sheza would be flying them!

If wishes were hotels,
Sheza would be owning the Marriot.

If wishes were shopping,
Sheza would be living at Ikea.

If wishes were colours,
Sheza would be Blue and Orange.

If wishes were food,
Sheza would be having french fries.

If wishes were shapes,
Sheza would be curvy.

If wishes were countries,
Sheza would be hopping over everyone of them.

If wishes were cakes and icecreams,
Sheza would be having tiramisu.

If wishes were chocolates,
Sheza's list would start at twix

If wishes were a cell phone,
Sheza would never answer;)

If wishes were cottages,
Sheza would own one right by the beach.

If wishes were the weather,
Sheza's world would have endless raindrops pittering pattering.

If wishes were drinks,
Sheza would be having passion fruit at freshly squeezed.

If wishes were a car,
Sheza would be the school bus driver, making the traffic stop on her flashing stop sign

If wishes were wisdom,
Sheza would have recorded everything her grandfather ever said.

If wishes were love,
Sheza would want it this exact same way, over and over again.

Wishes... Achievably, unachievable. Realistically unrealistic. Mine and mine, nonetheless!

Routines...

Throughout this last week, I've learnt that nothing spices up a marriage like a break in the routine does. This break has helped us reinforce the bond we both share by allowing us to explore new terrains together - in every sense of the statement! It can be easy to slip into routine and to let your marital life loose its special spark, but whats the fun in that? The very idea of letting go, driving up roads that dont even have names, relying on each other alone in wilderness and to discover sports and activites that you've never tried before, inhibit in you a new sense of challenge and excitement, not to forget togetherness.

Over the last 5 days, we've travelled over 3000 km on road and discovered places we wouldn't have other wise. We've driven into inner Quebec, following a map thats so old that we reached a dead end on what's supposed to be a highway that, according to the map, should continue for atleast another 300 kms, in a city where no one speaks english for miles and where no one had a sign of recognition of the small lil town where we were heading deep into Quebec for. But THAT, for us, is what makes travelling and discovering all the more exciting. The element of misplaced identity - our usual roles and responsibilites casted off. The element of spontaniety - having the time on our side, driving up roads we would usually never have time to divert into. The element of humble gratefulness, of simply holding onto that embrace for a tad bit longer to savour the mere blessing of being together due to the mercy of Almighty. The element of lostness, the sheer pleasure of relying on instinct to find our way around. The element of naughtiness, turning on the AC and cuddling infront of a fireplace on a warm summer afternoon to watch soccer worldcup (lol, yes only us two can have the sheer madness to even think, much less do that!!:P)

The last few days, we've had adventures that we can never forget. But these are our adventures. Adventures that no amount of writing can make anyone else even begin to come close to the excitement we've been through. These are our memories. Memories that are imprinted on our minds alone and not one recollection can be shared with the same enthusiasm that we felt while actually being there.

It's fun breaking free of monotony - of the boring old routines, being spontaneous, and letting your inner spirit run loose with no hold ups - try it and trust me you'll be glad you did!

semi vacations...

Ok here's an update! We've been living out of hotels for 5 nights now and its sheer joy. BUT and a great BUT, I miss my booboo too much. We've been able to do have alot of adventures the last few days coz he's not here but it's aweful being without him.

For those who know me, they know I LOVE hotels. It's been one amazing joy ride! I havent cooked in 5 days, my bed is made, my bathroom shines every morning and best of all - I didn't scrub my hands out cleaning it!

Two days ago we found out we'd have to extend our trip till monday, at least. So Imran and I decided to move further up north to a Hilton in Mont trembleau. its a 2.5 hour ride to work every morning for imran, but its soooo worth it!

this hilton isnt a 5 star one like the one in downtown montreal, but its a pretty amazing studio suite still. I don't like the fact that it has a kitchen and dining attached with amenities for ppl who enjoy cooking (i can't believe i'm complaining!). This one is located in a lil mountain resort with lots of french people around. its amazingly romantic and cute. The streets are reminisent of france with cobble path streetways, country style stores on the side. There are whirlpools and saunas, outdoor mini golfs, luge rides (those are AWESOME), cable cars everywhere, lakes etc etc! theres a concert going on at every corner. its peaceful in a weird way - BUT I miss Eesooo! we even managed to have the entire whirpool and pool to us two, but its still more fun to be with boooobooo!

we spent yest in ottawa (i know its the other way!! had to go for work) and it was fun staying up till 3am with cousins. this morning on the way here, we rode in our car on a ferry!!! the port for it is like 15 mins from imran's cousin's place... we just rode into the ferry and it drove us across the river which saved us over 25 mins of crossing around into quebec. everything we do these days reminds us of eesoo. we see a pool we think of eesoo. we see slides, we think of eessoo. we see luge rides, we think eessooo... get the drift??

we've taken tons of piccys which ill share once i head back inshaAllah.

One thing ive definitely learnt is that one appreciates vacations alot more after having kids! the ability to just get up and go is such a novelty these days. imran has to head out to st jean de-matha again tmrw. so ill be alone in mt treambleau. im looking forward to some hiking along the river inshaAllah.

houston complaints and all... i'm loving it!!

Husband on Strike...

Haha! just saw this on Dr Phil!!! A husband who's pitched a tent on the roof of their home coz the wife wants the babies in the marital bed!

http://husbandonstrike.com/

Blogword: Enough..

When is enough?
Warning: its a random rambling post


Last night, despite shipment and communication delays from IBM, Imo0o & I left for Montreal. We had a good 5-6 hours worth of journey to ourselves, Eesa being at his grandma's for the duration of this semi-vacation for us.

During this journey, Imo0o and I got a chance to do alot of talking and bonding Alhamdolillah. For those of you who have kids, you know how tough it is to spare time to just sit and talk - the proper quality bonding talk! Alhamdolillah, lately we've been taking alot of time to do alot of introspection and realignment of our goals and personality.

So while waiting for Montreal to arrive, and amidst our intensive conversations, Imo randomly asked me something which, he admitted later on, had been bothering him alot.

him: 'what is love?'
me: 'huh?'. (At this point, my overactive mind started firing up rhetorical questions like 'do you think i don't love you?', 'do you not love me?' blah blah)
him: 'as a stranger, not your husband or friend, tell me, what's love? Describe the feeling'
me: well if i can use John Gray's explanation, its a feeling where you're willing to give more than you take and are not concerned about keeping score.
him: isn't that what islam tells us too? To give charity and to be nice and be polite and to go out of your way etc without keeping an account of what u do.
me: yup. because the moment you start competing on how much u did or how little the other did, ill feelings sprout.
him: i hate that competition. i dont want you to have it either. you can never do enough. it's like charity, the moment you start thinking you've given alot, you stop giving. or the moment you do more because the other person has done more, your act is zeroed (nullified) coz your intention isn't for Allah anymore.

Imo, for those of you who don't know him, is a very mild, fun loving natured person. He is known amongst his friends to be a phonecall away for anything they need and he'd do it without a complaint - often times driving 60-70kms across town past midnight just to lend a shoulder to his friend. His mum and dad are both like that too - they dont look for their own benefit in doing someone a favor, they just help, going way out of their way and its a quality im glad Imo inherited.

Ever since we got married, he's stopped being 'there' all the time with his friends but is still known to be a crunch time player when needed. I'm partly at fault for that. Sometimes I'd be like 'so and so makes such a big deal of driving an extra 5 mins to come an extra two traffic lights to help you out, why would you go 45mins or an hour out of your way for them?'. And, much to my chagrin, he'd shake it off with a scorn that spelt out 'you're obnoxious!'. I'd always assume that he doesn't give me priority and puts everyone and everything before me.

Last night, we discussed how its a flaw in our personality to actually sit back and think twice about what we get out of doing something or how much should we do. Because the moment we start accounting these things, conflicts spring. I think the best advice my mum gave me when I got married was to have no expectations from anyone but Allah. Somewhere along the last four years, I mis-applied it. But I see it so (and i mean SOOO) clearly now. If my intention is to expect my reward from Allah alone, I won't expect any favors in return from that person nor would i contemplate how good or bad the person is, or whether or not he/she is deserving of this favor because the return of my reward is not from any human, but by Allah alone.

Allah mentions in Surah Rahman(one of my fave surahs with three of my favourite ayahs) somewhere along verse 48-54(i cant remember exactly which one it is): Is there any reward for good, other than good? Notice how Allah swt doesnt say that the person I do good for, will do good in return for me. Instead, Allah swt has taken it into His account by promising me good in return for my good deeds. Infact He's eased my burdens by keeping the calculations and judging for Himself. And accepting that He is Just, I know He will justify my deeds accordingly.

How and where my return and reward comes from is with Him, all i have to do is keep on doing good deeds.

For enough is never enough.

To Summers and R&Rs....

Majestic landscapes. Musical waterfalls. Rocky cliffs. Dense forests. Rolling brooks. Blue creeks. Magical scenery.













Looking forward to more such R&Rs this summer InshaAllah.