Off-guard..

It could have been any another way. It could easily have been so very different. Never had God promised to turn my glittery, shimmery dreams into sparkles of reality.

So why is it that when my heart is ablaze with the passionate reality of so many dreams, it still dares to beat in doubt? Even when life is magically throwing me into a spin of beautiful dejavu-s. And even when my heart is humbled in gratitude for the immense blessings, why is it beating in fear that perhaps fate's matchstick ignited the wrong coal? Why? Why? Why?

Last Breath..

This video churns my insides like a peppermill everytime i see it. The sound quality isn't the greatest and neither is the melody but the words are sooo meaningful. I know of so many people who cried when they saw it.


(May Allah swt return SG to his family soon. Ameen)

Out of the ordinary..

Everything has been out of the ordinary lately but when it comes down to blogging, somehow words seem too ordinary.

Realization # 2387673

Superiority complex is, in fact, a form of an inferiority complex.

So go on, look down on me all you want... ! Or look up, if you please =)

The mother of all miracles...

I can't believe that I lived without them for 22 years out of which I've been a mother for 2!!! It's my new found lifesaver that I carry with me EVERYWHERE!!

I think I'm not well...

I'vve cooked three brown meals this week and they all turned out fabulous - if i must say so myself:P!

ofcourse I went high on the air spray too!

Update..

warning! It's one of those updates where I list out my accomplishments over the last two weeks and feel good. so alot of whiney-ism!

The last two weeks have been crazy busy. Just trying to keep my head afloat and stay on top of everything. No I haven't been blogging here but I do sporadically update Eesascrib and Unshackled.

Two week ago, I went to Winnipeg. I learnt ALOT. I came back feeling extremely rejuvenated and passionate about everything I am learning. The course challenged some of the lesbo-western ideas that I had started to accept as normal. One of the greatest difference in practice between islamic counselling and western counselling that I faced in was in marriage counselling. Much of the western counselling works to gain immediate results and the idea of immediacy and 'my way or the highway'. Islamic counselling works towards acceptance and gradual change.

I had midterms the day that I got back. Alhamdolillah I managed to get much of my revision done on my flight there and back. The rest of the week was spent getting our place back in order. I had been neglecting much of the cleaning and usual stuff in favor of spending time with nayma. I was literally doing the bare minimum - and out of that too, Nayma would help out alot - esp with Eesa.

So the last two weeks have been alhamdolillah pretty productive. I feel a new rejuvenation towards my business as well. Came up with newer designs for the jewellry and managed to bag a couple new wholesalers as well - alhamdolillah. So that was a huge relief. I also managed to come up with a system to store my personal jewellry. I got a million and one earrings from india but I'd never get a chance to wear them because of the hassle of looking and finding them. i drilled in two nails in our closet and fished a jewellry wire across and then reinforced with metal wire around the nail. I did this twice, so i got two lines of metal wire going across. they're approx 50 cm wide. and then i hung out all my earrings onto them. Alhamdolillah they look fabulous - if I must say so myself;) the colours and the glotter, just really make me want to wear them. For the last three days I've been wearing matching earring and pendants with my outfits. That's a true accomplishment compared to my previous silver chain with a neutral coloured swarovski crystal dangling.

All day yesterday I spent ironing out my hijabs. Then at night i was cleaning out my kitchen when maryam called and said shes bringing Belaal over coz she wanted him to stay up. Alhamdolillah she completely took over and revamped my kitchen in one third the time it would have taken me on my own. Eesa was busy with baba, chacha and Beeloo so it save dme 90% of the distraction.

Slowly but surely, I'm also completing the paintings nayma was doing. she completed two and then for the third one she drew it out but didn't get the chance to paint it. So i'm at it. I'm sooooooo artistically challenged, it's unbelievable. lol. let's wait and see.

anyhow.. I've got an office to clean. so off i go!
laterz!

Ashwariya and loreal??

I think I just saw Ashwariya in a Loreal Mascara ad!

Am I smoking too much????

(nvm! my hollywood encyclopedia just confirmed, it's HER! *gasps*)

Weirdo!

Sometimes, I can't help but notice the orange and greens crying out to me.

(I had alot of time on my hands on Friday night since Eesa was staying over at Daadi's place. So I cooked up 5lbs of qeema with taco seasoning and veggies to be used in weekdays lunches, quesadilla, burritos, pasta, lasagne etc. The colours looked soooo vibrant, couldnt help but try and capture them! If youc an't view the picture, try re-routing through www.vtunnel.com )

When compatibility speaks..

"Compatibility can not be gauged prior to marriage".

I disagree.

Vehemently!

Answered prayers...

Seems like my prayers have been answered! Walmart is coming up with a grocery store with a greater variety! woohoo!

Wal-Mart opening first Canadian fresh-grocery super centres; 14 more in 2007Posted 11/7/2006
By Rita Trichur
TORONTO (CP) - Discount giant Wal-Mart Canada (WMT) - preparing to carve out a bigger slice of the grocery trade with the opening of its first Canadian super centres - has announced an "aggressive" growth plan that could include up to 14 more stores in 2007.

Each new Canadian super centre represents an investment of $15 million to $20 million and up to 500 new jobs, president and chief executive officer Mario Pilozzi said Tuesday.

He declined to specify the locations of future super centres, combining full-line grocery supermarkets with Wal-Mart's signature general-merchandise and packaged-food barns, because the retailer is still awaiting municipal approvals.

The Canadian division of the world's largest retailer has previously indicated it was targeting the Ontario communities of Sarnia, Brampton and Vaughan and the Toronto suburb of Scarborough.

The first three locations open Wednesday in Ancaster, London and Stouffville.

Ranging from 160,000 to 200,000 square feet, Wal-Mart super centres will stock about 120,000 products, compared with 80,000 in a traditional store, Pilozzi said, adding that their fresh produce, meat and baked goods will include a variety of organic and ethnic foods.

"We've been listening to the customers. They've been asking for this larger assortment," he said.

"We've been selling groceries since 1997 and what we have today is simply an evolution."
With about one million Canadians shopping at Wal-Mart on any given day, analysts say the super centres have the potential to revolutionize one-stop shopping in Canada.
U.S. supermarkets have been devastated by their impact, and Canadian grocers like Loblaw (L.TO) and Sobeys (SBY.TO) are busy retooling their supply chains and beefing up their offerings of general merchandise to prepare for the onslaught.

"Groceries are a golden opportunity for Wal-Mart to put money back in our customers' pockets," said Pilozzi.

In addition to expanding into fresh food, the super centres are billed as offering "a greater selection of modern and trendy items - primarily in fashion, electronics and home - normally associated with specialty big-box retailers."

Wendy Evans, president of Evans and Company Consultants Inc., said the super centres will offer lower food prices initially but predicted those would rise in the long term. "It depends on the level of competition in the market," she said.

The atmosphere of the Canadian super centres will likely be a "cut above" those in the U.S.
"The grocery sector here is somewhat more advanced, generally, than in the United States," Evans said. "So customers expect somewhat better presentation and quality merchandise."
Bentonville, Ark.-based Wal-Mart Stores Inc. moved into Canada in 1994, and Wal-Mart Canada, headquartered in Mississauga, Ont., now operates 272 discount stores and six Sam's Clubs, along with the three super centres.

News from © The Canadian Press

Flying and more..

Hello from Winnipeg, Manitoba!

Got here this morning, LOVE being on airplanes. It gives me this inner sense of freedom and lightness. It's just amazing, just the thought of flying through the sky- looking out of the window and seeing cotton balls of clouds. So pure and rejuvenating.

Speaking of freedom, this trip has been even more significant for me. It's not the first time I've travelled without Imran - oh no it's not! But it's the first time I've left Eesa behind with him for this long (ofcourse he's employing his mama's help but that's ok!). I feel so independent and on my own.

I'm doing this three days service provider training course that ISSA has developed. The purpose of this training is to be able to step out and challenge common myths held by service providers to muslims and also, to be able to train social workers, imams, health providers, teachers, police etc on cultural competancy and sensitivity. So overwhelming. So much to learn and grasp. I'm filled with this inner need to go out and make a difference, to see the change. *sigh* there's so much i want to do, i just don't know how or where to start - typical service provider dillema! *sigh*

my day started with an observation module where i (i was the only one who arrived early) saw Sr Shahina and Sr Aneesah deliver cultural sensitivty and competancy training to non muslim, mainstream service providers. It is expected of us to be able to deliver similar trainings to non muslims by the end of this course. We are also being trained on marriage counselling and pre marital counselling - this is the most intense part of this programme because it involves the neccessity to understand different muslim cultures.

Tmrw's session continues with marriage counselling and marriage counselling for converts followed by Sr shahina's spiritual perspective. the day starts at 7:30 am and I feel pooooooooped. so i'm going to head out. keep chking unshackled to grow with me as I learn!!

Got Sisterhood?

Have I mentioned, how much I love having sisters around - mess and all!!?! yea I've accepted that the messiness is part of the package of having nayma around, but that's not all!

There are perks too! She gets to do all my running around, I get to bully her, i get to vent out at her, she makes Eesa and I breakfast and lunch (yaay!), and above everything, she's my lil star! (*)

But there are downsides too! Day before yesterday, Nayma, Imran and I were bullying each other in the kitchen while I was loading the dishwasher, until Imran said something to Nayma and I - to which i responded by throwing a handful of water at Imo0o. haha! BIG MISTAKE! He obviously couldn't get back at nayma so he avenged it by ducking my head under the kitchen sink tap causing me to turn into an afro-ed Monica (from friends)!!!!!!!!! *sniff*

aaah!!! life is fun when u have three out of six of your most favorite ppl around... imagine when its all six!

YM Eid party...

Alhamdolillah, the weekend went by sooooper fast. We had our mini eid party on saturday... (well compared to the YM mississauga ones, this one was 5 times the size - 50 ppl!). I couldn't sleep all night in anxiety. I finally fell asleep at like 7:30 in the morning, only to be woken up by Aeram and Atiqa at 9:30.

We had last minute change of plans with the caterers, so instead of catering, we ordered pizza and i cooked pasta, along with a 7 layer dip with nacho chips and corn chips; and hummus with crackers. hummus turned out perfect, but i forgot the seasoning in the beans for the 7 layer dip so it was a lil bland. i also forgot the mayo for the dressing in the taco salad dressing at home, so we couldnt serve that.

Since I couldnt sleep, I did all the cooking on friday night - par some last minute preps that I did there. By the time I got up, showered and got eesa ready, there was no time left for me to iron my clothes or get ready! what a mad rush it was!

Alhamdolillah the party was mad fun. i loved the muslim rendition of musical chairs the best! watching girls run and then *THUD* the girls sitting on the chair was HILLARIOUS! we played jigsaw puzzles too.. *sigh*

I have to say, the highlight of the evening was hearing Beeloo gulp milk. LOL! subhanAllah it sounded so funny! the girls that were praying were worried that he was choking. it was soooo loud too... i could hear it all the way across the hall, in the kitchen. so adorable mashaAllah.

anyhow.. gotta update eesa's blog so i'm off!

Life's lesson #45769865

I somehow stumbled upon this quote while preparing for tommorow's eid party and thought (very cynically so) how very apt this quote is for those getting married into a joint family system. LOL! how sardonically evil of me!

Anyhow, here it is. Please enjoy it with the same sarcastic and evil humour as I did, elseif disregard it. =P

"If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it. It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission". - Admiral Grace Hopper

Naymee... I miss you already...

Dearest Nayma,

How three weeks have gone by, I can't even imagine. It's been fun since you've been here. We're upto our usual goofiness. We argue, we hug, we pick on each other, we laugh with each other, and then Imran and I laugh at you. LOL!!!! j/k Having you here makes me miss home so much these days.

(Funny how I still call my parent's place, my home. Growing up we were always on the move across the globe. Over the last 15-20 years, we've never stayed in one home for more than 2 or 3 years. But even then, when I visited India this year... my parent's place felt so much at home. I'd never been there before - materialistically, nothing was mine. It wasn't my room, or a bed that I'd ever slept in nor a kitchen I'd ever stepped into. but even so, everything felt so.. mine! The lifestyle was mine, the feelings were mine, the food was mine and above everything else, the people were mine... aah!)

Anyhow, my lil indian sister (oh I know how you love to be called that!!!) you're leaving come wednesday. man I'm gonna miss you.

So naymzee, here's one for you:

"nuhmah!! don't goooooooooo!!!!" lol





lol! haha! made you happy didn't i? I was lying, don't really want you to stay! just wanted to save myself the hassle of finding a babysitter! LOL! :P:P

muahahaha!!! lol!!! 'Just Kidding' quote unquote you!

Love, Shezii!